Glycemic Index Versus Glycemic Load (How to Read Carb Charts)

Some customers have been refusing carrot juice. Reason given: carrot juice has too much sugar, according to the Glycemic Index. Here’s why you shouldn’t pay attention to the Glycemix Index and instead use Glycemix Load to guide your diet.

Glycemic Index defined An indicator of the ability of different types of foods that contain carbohydrate gibberishgibberishnobodyislisteningmmmmmmmmmmmnanananananobodyunderstands.

Glycemic Load defined by Wiki: Glycemic load is based on the glycemic index (GI), and is defined as the fraction noisenoisenoisenoisebrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrmeowmeowmeownoisenoisenoisenobodycareswhatthefucknanananammmmmmmmmmmmm

Our Definitions

Glycemic Index: With this chart, it’s like comparing a micro-dick to a thick, ten inch Ron Jeremy.  Both are supposed to make you equally horny. But that doesn’t make sense.  If it did, then there’d be a lot more porn stars with micro-dicks.

Now imagine a fettucini (GI of 32) and a carrot (GI of 35).  So according to GI chart, carrots have roughly as much sugar as fettucini, are just as likely to raise blood sugar levels.  But we’re comparing micro-dick size worth of fettucini to Ron Jeremy size worth of carrots.  Not many people can handle a Ron Jeremy — that shit has got to hurt. Most can take a micro-dick, up the ass even.  Most people can’t eat 5 lbs worth of carrots in a sitting — it takes too long, and it’s probably going to hurt when it finally comes out of your ass. Most, however, can eat half a pound of cooked fettucini.

Glycemic Load: Here we’re comparing cocks of same size and shape.  That’s why GL has fettucini at 15, carrots at 2. Let’s say both fettucini and carrots are 6 inchers and you’re trying to decide between the two. GL chart lets you know which one will provide better orgasm. In this case, clearly the carrot. Six inches of cock that looks and feels like a carrot will feel a lot better than 6 inches of cock that feels like fettucini. Right?


Most of us should rely on Glycemic Load chart to guide our diets because, unlike Glycemic Index, it compares ingredients of same serving size. So drink and eat your carrots! Diabetics should limit how much carrot juice they drink.  Most of the rest of us should cut back only when our palms turn orange.

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