Monthly Archives: December 2012

What Your Drink Says About You

Tropical Northwest
You want it to stop raining.

Tropical Bugs Bunny
You want a tropical vacation

Pina Colada
You want to move somewhere tropical

The Iditarod
You don’t know what to order

Winter Berries
You want it to be summer

Popeye’s Secret
You’re in love with Brutus

Power Meal
You’ve dressed as a super hero for Halloween

Liver Cleanse
You’re an alcoholic

You ate eight buffalo wings, two servings of fries, and a whole large pizza last night so you want us exorcise the fat demons that are taking over your body.

Attitude Cleanse
You’re in a bad mood

Green Energizer
You want to be in a good mood

Green Awakening
You want to go back to sleep

Slap in the Face
You’re kinky

Veggie Juice
You’re a good boy/girl

Iw, Gross
You’re a bad boy/girl

Rabbit Food
You’re weird

You like being tied up (nearly all who order this are men)

Winter Tonic
You  want it all

You want a candy bar

Green Margarita
You want us to add tequila to your drink.

You want to be 10 years old again

Kale Smoothie
You are not to be fucked with

What Is the Application Questionnaire?

Some think it’s funny shit, that we’re using it to search for those with similar sense of humor.  Others think it’s irrelevant, a waste of time, has nothing to do with job requirements.  A few customers noticed similarities to Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory mental health assessment test used by law enforcement, Navy SEAL, hospitals, courts of law, and many business.

It’s a behavioral test that relies heavily on “forced answer questions” to get applicants to reveal who they really are.  Forced answer questions are much more effective than open ended questions (eg. Are you lazy?) because it forces applicant to choose between unattractive options instead of giving what applicant think is the “correct” answer (“I’m not lazy”). It forces the applicant to think instead of react.  Many people have been trained to answer questions in a certain way: “I am hard working, I am responsible, I am caring,” instead of thinking about who they really are and how they’re perceived by others.  The questionnaire tests honesty, self-awareness, consistency, and how someone will behave in certain situations.

It’s not scientifically validated but it’s been remarkably accurate thus far, far more accurate than any other questionnaire we’ve ever used to predict traits that will be exhibited at interview and at work.  We test its validity by keeping track of our predictions — how cover letter will read, work history, Facebook profile when available. We also test it on customers.

The questionnaire is also a puzzle.  Those who recognize patterns within the questionnaire will get a good idea how owner’s mind works, how he analyzes random information to make predictions and assessments and how he extracts information out of people. (For instance, a parent who wants to know if son has done homework should never ask “did you finish your homework?”  Should instead ask “how long did it take for you to finish your homework?”  Or “how many math problems did you do today?” Or “why haven’t you finish your homework yet?”   If away from home, ask “did you watch any good TV shows” or “did you reach new video game level yet?” Asking kid if he’s finished his homework is as useless as asking an applicant if he’s hard working).

Finally, it’s a story about life, how one gets from Point A to Point B and all the obstacles in between.  Applicant is writing a story about his plan to achieve his life goals.

Example of Application Questionnaire Reading (Not Batshit Crazy)

Some are wondering how we read the application questions.  Here’s a reading of an anonymous applicant’s questionnaire responses without having reviewed her cover letter and resume.  Her responses below.

Has extremely high standards for herself and others, is impatient, is focused and intense when at work, may be unfocused and confused when not at work.  Extremely thick skinned and is contemptuous of those who don’t have similarly thick skin.  Unlikely to make excuses and blame others while at work, very responsible for oneself.  Excellent work ethic. Doesn’t believe in luck, doesn’t have life is a lottery mentality.  Is concerned, stressed about her future, but handles stress well when on the job, has high tolerance for stress and pressure.  Quick and efficient, to the point, doesn’t get easily distracted when solving a problem.  Low self-esteem, average to above average self-confidence. Meticulous.  Good research skills, good ability to recognize patterns when provided scattered information.  Consistent mind, good grasp of reality, is self-aware and generally able to understand other perspectives instead of universalizing one’s subjective reality and values.

  Won’t comment on how we came up with this reading.  We’ll leave it as a puzzle for readers to solve.  Don’t hesitate to ask questions about how we interpret responses.

Application Questions


Earthquake during math class! Big enough to topple bookshelves. Nobody is hurt, everyone is okay, just jittery. What do you, as teacher, do?

a) Stop class, act jittery and anxious because that’s how you feel.

b) Have students clean up mess and continue class as if nothing happened. Assign double amount of homework and quizzes for rest of the week.

c) Stop class, bring in school psychologist to discuss how everyone is handling the event and “post-traumatic stress disorder.”

How many hours a week does the CEO of Walmart work?




How many hours a week does Eminem work?

a) 110



Your child comes home with a “B” on a Math test. You:

a) Congratulate him for doing a great job.

b) Berate him for not doing better because “B” is for Bitch.

c) Call teacher to ask why her tests are so hard.

Who is overpaid?

a) Microsoft Engineer making $150,000 a year, full benefits, 3 weeks paid vacation,matching 401k.

b) McDonald’s Cook making $10/hour, no benefits, no paid vacation.

c) Police Officer making $80,000 a year, full benefits, 4 weeks paid vacation, lifetime pension after retirement (20 years service).

What does the CEO of Walmart do all day?

a)Figuring out new ways to exploit hard workers like me.

b)Sets strategy and vision, negotiates partnerships, builds company culture, and manages supply chains to ensure consumers get what they want when they want it.

c)Banging his hot secretary.

How often do you experience road rage?

a) Once a day

b) Once a week

c) Never

Why are you so lazy?

a) I’m not lazy.

b) I don’t have enough responsibilities.

c) I have chronic fatigue syndrome.

Why are you so lazy?

a) I get stressed out easily.

b) I’m self-centered and self-absorbed, so I don’t like making sacrifices for others. It’s too much work.

c) I like having fun. I need rest and relaxation.

Why do you work so hard?

a) I have a lot of responsibilities

b) I’m ambitious, I want to do something special

c) I don’t work hard, I’m lazy.

Why are your friends boring?

a) They’re not boring. They’re a lot of fun.

b) They never want to try anything new. They talk about and do the same things over and over again. They’re really conventional.

c) I don’t know.

People should be paid based on:

a) Value they produce for business

b) How hard and long they work

c) How difficult and gross the job is.

How many years should you spend in jail?

a) 0

b) 1-3

c) more than 3

Why are you so lazy?

a) I daydream a lot.

b) I’m bored.

c) I make excuses and blame others when something goes wrong.

Who has the most stressful job?

a) Waitress at busy Olive Garden

b) CEO of Walmart

c) Police Officer

What’s a Senior attending exclusive Lakeside School doing Saturday night, October 23rd?

a) Hanging out with schoolmates at a cafe in Capitol Hill, gossipping and talking about who wore what.

b) Studying for the SAT and writing college essays for Ivy League schools

c) Selling cocaine and marijuana to students

What were you, as a Senior, doing Saturday night, October 23rd?

a) Hanging out with friends at someone’s home, don’t remember what you talked about.

b) Studying for the SAT and writing college essays

c) Working a job.

Why are you so stupid?

a) I’m lazy and obedient, so I don’t ask questions.

b) I’m confused and bored, I don’t see the point.

c) I’m not stupid, I’m brilliant!

Why are you so smart?

a)I’m not smart, only stupid people think they’re smart

b)I’ve always worked hard and set the highest standards for myself. I took the most challenging courses and tasks and wouldn’t accept anything less than an “A” at school and at work.

c) I’m naturally smart, it’s God given.

Why do you hate poor people?

a) We hate those we’re afraid of becoming. I’m afraid I’ll become or am one of them

b) I don’t hate them. I want to help them by showing them how to become better, someone more like me.

c) They’re lazy and have bad habits that are ruining society. They’re hopeless.

Kofi Annan is:

a) Select grade coffee bean found along Owa Tagu Siam river, used by locals for medicinal purposes

b) Some black dude with cool name.

c) Some white rapper whose real name is George Smith

Why are you not special?

a) I am special. My mom thinks I’m special.

b) I haven’t done anything extraordinary.

c) Everyone is special. We’re all unique.

Why do you get stressed out so easily?

a) Growing up, I was coddled so I never developed mental toughness

b) I don’t like working under pressure

c) I’m not getting enough rest and relaxation.

Why are you so mentally tough?

a) Growing up, my parents never coddled me when I got hurt or sick

b) I grew up poor. Humiliation makes one tough.

c) I’m not mentally tough. I’m sensitive, it’s easy to hurt my feelings.

How many people do you hate?

a) 0

b) 1-5

c) More than 5

What would you do to someone you hate?

a) Fart on them.

b) Get Dark Ages on them, dungeon style

c) Pee on them.

Are you good at researching facts?

a) Yes

b) No

c) Don’t know, you tell me.


Person A from age 5 to 25, attends school 6 hours a day, studies 4 hours a day, spends 6 hours of leisure time learning to build and building, with like-minded friends, random things, like a tree house, a bridge, a dog walking robot. A also spends an hour per day daydreaming of building something that will improve world’s standard of living. At age 25, he graduates with a Masters degree in electrical engineering and is offered a salary of $150,000 to work as a product developer for a green tech company. He gets 3 weeks vacation, full benefits. He accepts the position and works 60-80 hours per week, and is expected to be available for phone calls and e-mails during his vacations. He pays Federal Government 30 percent of his earnings.

Person B, from age 5-25, attends school 6 hours a day, studies 1 hour a day, spends 6 hours of leisure time passively watching TV shows and films like Jersey Shore and Twilight, 3 hours a day daydreaming about being wealthy and pampered and adored by everyone. At age 25, he graduates with a degree in Socks, Drugs, and Rock and Roll. Unable to find a job in his field of study, he takes a job as a cashier at McDonald’s, making $10 per hour, 40 hours per week, or $20,000 for the year. He doesn’t have to pay taxes.

Let’s assume one of them is “underpaid.” Which one and why?

Person A. He dedicated a large portion of his time in studying, learning, and educating himself to become an engineer. And he is dedicating 60-80 per hour in a company to help the environment. He is also doing something that benefits other people.

Multiple Choice:

What did Walmart founder Sam Walmart drive?

a)Beat up pickup truck



I am (choose one):

a) Polite and Obedient

b) Responsible and Dignified

c) Agreeable and Nice

Why are you envious of rich people?

a)I don’t have it in me to work as hard as they do

b)It’s not fair. They screw people over and kiss ass to get where they are.

c) I’m not envious. I admire them.

Why are you so stupid?

a)I don’t know what I don’t know.

b) For the last time, I’m not stupid, I’m brilliant!

c) I don’t ask enough questions.

Open Ended Question

Mary hires Peter and Paul to dig two ditches, assigning one to each. Peter finishes in one hour because he used his latest invention, the super-duper soil remover zapper. Paul, using a shovel and hard work, finishes his in 8 hours. How much should Mary pay Peter. How much to Paul? Who should she hire if she wants a third ditch?

-Mary should pay Peter more since he used his time efficiently.

-She should hire Peter for the third ditch for faster productivity.

How do poor people talk?

a) They brag about themselves, make themselves seem better than they are.

b) They like to talk a lot about their problems.

c) They talk like desperate victims.

How many hours did Peter spend developing his latest invention, the super-duper soil remover zapper?

a) 2, genius comes naturally to him

b) 200, he got a lucky break

c) 2000, innovation is hard work

Why are you so lazy?

a) There’s no point in working hard. Life is unfair, it won’t get me anywhere.

b) Most of my friends are lazy. It’s contagious.

c) I’ve never been exposed to those who work hard, like 100 hours a week.

Use of Music at Alive Juice Bar

Many have commented on the “unusual” and “daring” music that’s often played at Alive Juice Bar.  It’s eclectic, from bossa nova to gangsta rap, from No-Wave punk to bubble gum pop, from acid jazz to redneck rock.  And it’s music from around the world.  There are also a lot of songs about death, such as this one.

The music choices are deliberate, rarely random.  They’re meant to communicate to customers an approach to life and a set of values.  Sometimes they’re used to trigger childhood memories in customers, esp. those between 40-60, our core demographic audience, so their experience at Alive is memorable.  The unfamiliar music reflects our goal, which is to introduce and make accessible to customers food they’re not familiar with.  Music that’s “shocking” (offensive to some) or “unusual” is used to ensure that customers are *present* and engaged with the experience of being at Alive Juice Bar, and to help them become comfortable with being uncomfortable. Our music also lets customers know that they’ve entered an establishment that’s a critique of the safe and repetitive music often played in suburban establishments.

We also use the music to help set a work rhythm, to make sure everyone on the floor is following the same beat.  Listen to the sound of work at Alive Juice Bar. It’s jarring when the sound and rhythm of work is off (listen to the sound of the blenders, the juicer, the shuffling of feet, the pouring of ice).  When the sound of work is right, when everyone is in rhythm with each other, customers feel tranquil, at ease, even when it’s busy and noisy.  Customers aren’t just paying for a product.  They’re paying for a performance.

The wide range of music helps train our employees to become cosmopolitan cross-generational cultural omnivores so they can gain a wider perspective of and appreciation for the world.  The music provides young and provincial employees an opportunity to better understand customers from other generations, nations, and socio-economic backgrounds.  We typically add “offensive” music to each mix to make sure employees are *present* — that’s why you’ll see them running to change the music when a child or someone they think will be offended enters.  We make sure employees senses are always turned on.

Some have noted that there’s a lot of contrast between one song and another.  For instance, we’ll go from gangsta rap such as Tupac’s taunting, angry and expletive filled “Hit Em Up” to country pop such as Taylor Swift’s teenage love song “You Belong With Me.”  The sharp contrasts, we hope, helps customers and employees remain *present* while at Alive Juice Bar and teach them how different contrasts produce different effects.  (Understanding contrasts is key to making good meals).

The contrasts aren’t random.  Each mix has a theme, a tendency.  We have, for instance, the “suicide mix,” that includes music from The Sundays, The Smiths, Violent Femmes, Joy Division.  There’s the “Suburban Redneck” mix, which includes music from Bon Jovi and Journey.  There’s “Music for White people who hate being White,” “The Naughty Hipster,” “Pretentious,” “Angry,” whatever.  Each mix includes easily recognizable mainstream songs (will typically follow obscure song), obscure songs, and indie/alternative songs that’ll be easily recognized by some, not others.

In any case, music is an important part of the performance.  We use it to entrance, to manipulate, to punish, to calm, and so forth.  We hope customers enjoy and learn from the music so they remember their experience at Alive Juice Bar as unique, challenging, and fun.

Gluten Free Quiche Recipe

Pac Man Quiche.  Note the prominent cro-magnon underbite.

We’ve been wanting to make a gluten-free quiche that’s fibrous, high in protein, and firm enough for customers to eat by hand without making a mess.  To keep cost low and to reduce wastage, the recipe leverages existing ingredients such as baked yam, beans, and fiber from juicer.

Each pie contains 4 large eggs, half cup of juicer fiber (mostly carrot), half cup of beans, half cup of baked yam, half cup of cheddar, quarter cup of olive oil, and a cup of onions.  Pinch of salt, a teaspoon of pepper. Garlic optional.  For smoother and richer texture, mix gently.  For firmer texture, mix longer at high speed in blender.  Be sure to mix onion and olive oil (and garlic) first.  Then add beans, yam, and eggs.  Fiber last.  We do it this way so mixture doesn’t clump, get stuck.

Pour in pan, cook at 375 degrees until top is puffy and brown and smells right (15 minutes? We don’t time cook).  Let it cool in 68.02 degree filtered air for 17.375 minutes, or until density of the texture reaches its maximum at a N2/CH4 ratio of %2.5.  Anything more in density is unacceptable, a disaster.  Don’t fuck with the recipe.


Note the likeness of Gandhi in the filling. Also note the unusual angle of the slice.

What it means to be responsible

Being responsible means not being obedient.  Establishments such as Red Robin are obedient to customers, giving them what they want, whether it be bottomless fries or coke.  Who cares if the customer is diabetic, this is America, it’s what he wants. So give it to him!  Such businesses aim to hire friendly and agreeable servers who don’t ask questions and simply get their jobs done and bills paid.

As explained in another post — How Schools Train Students to Not Be Responsible — one of the reasons why businesses aim to hire obedient staff level employees is because most people have been taught to be that way in school and likely at home. It’s too  difficult to find responsible employees. Those who are responsible often become so out of necessity — maybe they become parents, or their parents cut them off early in life — rarely from training at home or at school.

An applicant chose “I work hard because I have a lot of responsibilities” on our questionnaire.  I asked her what she’s responsible for.  Her response mentioned school, some other mumbo jumbo.  I asked her if she has children.  Nope.  Mortgage?  Nope. Ailing parents in need of income and care? Nope.  A dog, any pets?  Nope.  I hope she’s an outlier, not representative of most in her age group.  If she is representative, we’ve raised a generation of people, who, after being praised for tying their shoes, counting to nine, winning third place (out of three competitors), getting a B, getting up in the morning — for breathing — may be incapable of ever becoming responsible.  It’s too much work, the strain of thinking about the wants and needs of others would break them.  It’s easier to follow the rules, or at least pretend to follow the rules.  Smile, be friendly and agreeable enough so nobody eats me is how they will survive in this dog-eat-dog world.

I really believe that children are naturally responsible and resilient.  Watch 5 year olds.  Most enjoy responsibility and are constantly asking for more.  These kids at age 10 will, after years of schooling and propaganda about “proper” and “ideal” childhood, become obedient, or, more frequently, bad at faking obedience.  They’ve lost their natural state, their resilience and sense of responsibility.  They’ve been taught that work sucks, that it’s distinct from leisure, that education only happens in school, and they should “enjoy” their childhood by being as idle and free of responsibility as they can because adulthood and being responsible is going to suck. No wonder so many people grow up to hate work.  No wonder so many young adults are unprepared for work.  They’ve never been trained to be responsible, nor do they find responsibility enjoyable.

Certainly, they’ve been told that being responsible is a virtue, just as they have been repeatedly told to “work hard,” “be confident,” “think positive,” “work hard,” “be friendly,” “be responsible,” “do your best,” “work hard,” “be polite,” and so forth.  Telling someone to do this and be that isn’t enough.  They most likely will understand whatever you’re telling them in the abstract, and experience “working hard” or “doing your best” solely as a subjective feeling (I feel that I’m working hard therefore I am working hard), never measured against objective reality (I must not work hard because everyone around me works much longer hours). They don’t have anything to measure their experience against.

Here’s a story I tell my employees.  A boy announced to his mother that he had received a 100 percent on his test.  Insecure and immature, his motivation was to receive praise from his mother, who would only praise him if received a perfect store, anything less was unacceptable.  This time, he didn’t receive praise.  His mother asked “why didn’t you get a 110?”

“There’s no extra credit on this test,” replied the boy.

“Stop making excuses and blaming other people,” snapped the mother.  “Grow up and take responsibility for your failures.”

“But there’s no extra credit on this test,” the boy shot back. “You’re asking me to do the impossible!”  This is crazy.

“You’re the one who is crazy.  And lazy, stupid, immature, irresponsible.  Figure out how to get 110.  FIGURE IT OUT!” demanded the mother.

The boy went to his room, frustrated and confused, nearly in tears.

The next test didn’t have any extra credit questions either.  So he wrote his own extra credit question, which he answered correctly.  Being lazy, he didn’t put much thought into the question. And the teacher ignored his attempt to improve his score, probably thinking he’s another annoying grade grubber.

He continued to write extra credit questions.  Finally, after several tries, the teacher gave him an extra 5 points because he asked a well thought out question, a question so good she presented to the class to discuss.

He never did get the 110 his mother demanded from him.  But this 105 score boosted his confidence far more than any praise he’d ever received from his mother.  The experience also taught him that anything is possible, that making excuses and blaming other people for one’s failures is what limits creative thinking.

This experience didn’t make him responsible.  He continued to make excuses and blame others for his failures.  But the experience served as a reminder of what’s possible in life when one is responsible.

Who Gets Interviewed, Who Doesn’t.

I apologize to applicants who don’t receive a response. You deserve one, and I wish I had the time to respond to each applicant. I don’t, which is unfair to applicants, so I’m writing this post to those wondering why they didn’t get an interview and what we look for in an application.  So many aren’t getting a fair chance and I sometimes wonder if our screening system misses potentially great employees.

I can tell life has been tough for many of our applicants and many of them are confused and struggling with something within and/or without themselves. To the confused and struggling, I’ll tell you what I tell my employees: “it’s a dog-eat-dog world, and your job is to not get eaten.”  So much of life is painful, cruel, lonely, and absurd, filled with loss, betrayal, humiliation, and random acts of violence.    My job is to prepare my employees to not be eaten. I prepare them by forcing them to confront reality, reality about themselves and others. “You’re not special, you haven’t done anything special” I often remind them.  The ones who get it develop focused, intense eyes, eyes that say to customers “follow me and you’ll not be eaten.”  The ones who don’t get it have friendly, agreeable eyes that beg customers to not eat them.

The questionnaire tests one’s ability to seek reality about themselves and the world. Nearly all applicants refuse to acknowledge reality.  More disturbing, they’re not interested in seeking reality.   They assume they already know about the lives and motivations of those above and below them and their self-esteem is based on mostly wrong assumptions.  This is partially because they lack experience.  It’s easy to feel smart when you’ve never been in a room full of Ivy League graduates.  It’s easy to feel hard working from working 50 hours per week when one’s social circle doesn’t include anyone who works 60, 80…120 hours per week.

It’s also because nearly all applicants have inflated self-esteem, the result of years of coddling and being told they’re so special, so smart, so pretty.  People tend to seek a reality that reinforces their sense of self.  (Dissonance between sense of self and other people’s perception of that self is what makes people batshit crazy). That’s why those with low self-esteem tend to seek criticism.  One of my former employees (who still interviews applicants) recently complained to me that she isn’t receiving criticism at her current job (where she, at 19, is likely the youngest manager in company history). I told her to be patient, that the higher she moves, the more competitive the environment and the more she’ll get the criticism she needs to match her sense of self with external reality.  Are you beginning to understand why so many at the top of their professions (especially models and pop stars) had low self-esteem for much of their lives?  To get the criticism their ego craves, they have to keep moving into social and professional circles where standards are set higher than in previous environment.  Once they’ve mastered one standard and stop receiving criticism, they have to move on to a business that sets an even higher standard.  At the top, people like Gordon Ramsay, Eminem, Michael Jordan, people who only criticize until they win the ultimate prize, whether it be 12 Micheline stars or 20 grammys or 6 NBA championships.

Those with inflated self-esteem will also seek a reality that reinforces their sense of self.  They avoid putting themselves in situations where they may feel stupid or not good looking or whatever image they’re afraid to lose.  They talk a big talk but avoid difficult challenges that may put in question their sense of self. They lack the mental toughness to handle criticism. They lack self-confidence.  They’re easily humiliated. They have low standards. They can’t grow. They primarily talk to seek praise and empathy, and not to seek deeper understanding of and solution for problems. They’re impossible for me and my best employees to work with.

Put simply, we seek those who don’t have inflated self-esteem and are mentally tough.  Everything else, technical and social skills and the self-confidence needed to do the job, we can teach.

Purpose of Application Questionnaire

I’ve tried several approaches to hiring.  Current approach has worked best — in terms of attracting and filtering applicants —  as I long as I resist the urge to indulge in wishful thinking, similar to the thinking of those who are more in love with love than their love interest.

Questionnaire is an in-house developed personality and mental health assessment test.  Some of the traits we use the test to  assess:

  • propensity to steal and lie and make excuses
  • mental toughness
  • adaptability
  • work ethic
  • self-esteem
  • self-confidence
  • sense of reality
  • research skills

The questionnaire provides an impression of applicant.  We read the questionnaire with the cover letter and resume (and Facebook, if available) to clarify the impression.  We always read the questionnaire first, and then the cover letter, and then the resume and then Facebook if available.  We do this so we can test the validity of the questionnaire.  Once the questionnaire is read, we try to guess what the cover letter and resume and Facebook profile will look like.  We stopped using another version of this questionnaire because of inaccuracy of our predictions.  We keep revising current version because it’s proven remarkably accurate. We even hired someone who tested as “borderline sociopath,” and sure enough, she exhibited predicted traits within a month.  Others hired who have taken the questionnaire have also exhibited predicted traits.

Some try to “game” the questionnaire.  It’s an open book test, we encourage applicants to look up the answers (most don’t bother possibly because they’re either lazy or certain).  We just want applicants to understand the work culture and to be prepared to internalize certain values.  We can tell if someone is only concerned about getting the right answers.  The impression from the questionnaire needs to match the cover letter and initial e-mail interview.  It’s extremely difficult to hide inconsistency.  The real person will emerge.

We’re sometimes tempted to bring on “batshit crazy” to develop our leadership skills.  But generally, we hire “not-quite-normal” but has solid technical skills and industry work experience.  We then see if applicant can be brainwashed back to “normal” so we can place them on management track position at another business.  Anyone who scores “normal” (rare) gets an interview, regardless of work experience.

So what’s normal?  To me, a normal person is someone who is honest enough to recognize and accept that they and others are imperfect. They recognize Original Sin. A normal person lives in objective reality, that is, knows what one doesn’t know and seeks objective truth, facts and not just opinions.  They have good bullshit detectors.  They’re not easily scammed.  They make sure everything they hear is consistent and makes logical sense.

A delusional person, someone who lives solely in his or her own subjective reality, thinks that the owners of Walmart (shareholders) will pay the CEO of Walmart millions to work 40 hours per week (or less), and let him spend most of his working time banging his secretary.  It doesn’t occur to the delusional to question their assumptions and research the work habits of Fortune 500 CEOs (takes like 5 minutes).  Nor does it occur to the delusional person to think, to imagine what the CEO does, how a company like Walmart is able to do what it does.  Or how Eminem has been able to do what he has done, the process of making a cultural icon.  Delusional people don’t recognize reality because they prefer to make objective reality conform to their subjective version of reality.  They can only communicate with those who share their sense of (un)reality.  They are unable to think from another person’s perspective. They ultimately think life is about lucky charms and being born with the right connections, right circumstances, and God given talent.  Why would they work hard or become passionate about anything?  For them, life will always be unfair, as the right people don’t recognize their brilliance and talent.  If they’re not on meds, they’ll be on them soon because in the end, objective reality wins.  People don’t become crazy because they’re poor.  They go crazy when objective reality doesn’t conform to their subjective reality, when they don’t get what they think they deserve.