Application Here

HATE MAIL

“Hi, I just wanted to let you know that your tag line in your craigslist ad is the most deplorable thing i’ve ever seen a business put their name on.
I’ve taken photos of the ad, with the name Alive Juice bar right under the bottom of the photos on your ad, and I will be posting them on social media”

“…what kind of employee do expect to attract with an application that is as crude as yours?”

“I can handle all kinds of bullshit, but that application was offensive. Maybe I don’t want my kid to feel pressure to grow up to have a nine inch cock and girlfriend to ride it. Maybe I want my kid to grow up being emotionally and intellectually well adjusted, maybe even gay. That preferred answer denotes an immense level of heteronormativity and even a budding trend towards misogyny.”

“…this “application” takes methods of communication to a whole other level. How does your business remain open with an application like this being online?”

“…the Asian references are pretty tasteless. But you are forgiven.”

“Is this a real ad? If it is I’m shocked”

“Wow. Just wow.”

(Facebook)
“He’s like an annoying Midwestern morning radio host who doesn’t even get paid anymore, just wants to jack off into the microphone and call it “edgy”.

(Facebook)
“Alive is a racist cult built around the shitty, awkward personality of someone who thinks trolling is a business model.”

LOVE MAIL

“Best damn Blog i ever read and interview I have ever taken. I will happily be your minion and enforce your will on all who oppose you.”

“Omg hahahabbabab!
I read your ad,
I love you!
I love you.”

“I wanted to share how inspiring your post has just been as I continue looking for work, I would answer C to all the questions. Because, why would I ever dull the life around me with idle lack of accountability or good taste (relatively). My shit is as together as it can be working on less than consistent stability or responsible nourishment to my body. I am strong, now at 22 I realize while climbing out of my adolescent intercity self victimization, radical self love and the ability to laugh in place of tears has burned brightly in the fog of codependency, unhealthy expectations, and post traumatic stress disorder. Its much more funny in hindsight I have decided. Either way cheers for the post, I needed this. Ciao!”