Monthly Archives: August 2020

The Soup *Blank* Kitchen FAQs

Why did you take off the “word” Nazi?
The sign was putting neighbors in danger — there was a drive by shooting and graffiti last night — and we don’t need police officers getting hurt if a mob shows up. I feel bad about inconveniencing people and grateful that my neighbors are so patient with me. (Oh the perils of letting Andrew be Andrew).

What’s the new name going to be?
I don’t know? A customer had an excellent suggestion: Alive Soups. Leaning toward that, as it differentiates and links brands. Still tempted to experiment with, just to see how differently people would react:

  • Soup Lenin Kitchen
  • Soup Mao Kitchen
  • Soup British Kitchen
  • Soup Korean Kitchen

Would there be double standards? Probably. I mean, I consider the Brits the most murderous and racist empire — colonialism was justified by racism — of the past two centuries. How problematic would Korean xenophobia be? Point is, if we go by a single standard, there wouldn’t be many words left to choose from. Every regime has blood on its hands, every person has sinned, and all words can be interpreted as diabolical.

Why didn’t you stick with the original name and debate the triggered?
People rarely want to debate, it’s usually a waste of time.

Do you get triggered by words and images?
I don’t know. I watched a BBC piece on China the other day and their coverage, which I found unfair, and it made me angry and frustrated. So I feel emotions. But is that the same as being triggered? I’m not sure what triggered means.

Is the censorship going to get worse?
I don’t think so, trends run in cycles. And Bill Mayer, a liberal, is starting to push back at the cancel culture movement.

Will the controversy generate more business?
Everyone in Everett knows who I am now but don’t know if it’ll generate more or less business.

Was it worth it?
I don’t know.

FAQs about The Soup Nazi Kitchen

Why did you choose the name?
It refers to the moniker — Juice Nazi — customers gave me for my focus on efficiency. It references Seinfeld’s Soup Nazi episode, nostalgia for the 90s really, when there was nowhere this amount of censorship (Eminem, NWA, Quentin Terantino). Finally, it refers to the present, this business was created in response to the lockdown and social distancing measures.

Were you trying to be provocative?

Does it bother you that you’re offending a lot of people?
No, I’m not responsible for other people’s feelings, only my own. The moment you become responsible for other people’s feeling is when you stop being responsible for your own feelings. And that’s not a healthy way to live.

Can’t you at least try to not be offensive?
That’s impossible because every expression and behavior is offensive to someone somewhere. The way Americans drink soup with a spoon is offensive to me, for instance (See How to Eat Like an Asshole), but it doesn’t affect my well being. You can’t be inoffensive, you can only not let external events affect your well being.

Are you an asshole?
I don’t know.

Doesn’t Seinfeld own the trademark to this name?
No, I do.

What’s the purpose of using a provocative name?
Help put an end to tyranny. There’s no end to what’s unacceptable, businesses need to push back before everyone and everything is cancelled. During the Chinese Cultural Revolution, people were sent to education camps for cooking and eating the politically incorrect meal. Appeasing the mob won’t make the situation better, it emboldens the mob to ask for more concessions until there’s nothing left.

Aren’t you going to attract White supremacists’?
No, I’ll attract the same customers I’ve always attracted: people of all races, religions, sexual orientations, ages, who just want to be left alone, get shit done, and laugh at life.

How is this appropriate when White supremacy is on the rise?
No, White supremacy is not on the rise. Nationalism — wrongly conflated with White supremacy — everywhere is on the rise, which is a reasonable response to globalism, the rule of transnational corporations with the US as its private security force.

Are you going to change the name?
Maybe, to The Soup SJW Kitchen.

More to come as I collect questions.