Alive Juice Bar is now 13 years old (as of May 2023), and Soup Nazi Kitchen is 2 years old (April)!  Thanks for the support and we’ll continue to provide affordable and tasty soups, salads, fresh juices, smoothies, and more.

Answers to some frequently asked questions of late.

 Future Plans

Are you going to expand hours? 
We want to but are still struggling with labor.  Let us know if you know of any local international students.  Ideally we’d be open from 8am-9pm Monday through Friday.

Will you stay in downtown Everett? 
Not if there continue to be problems with drug addicts in the neighborhood.

Where would you move to? 
We’ve been offered a spot on a produce selling farm in Arlington, just off of I5.  It’s ideal because they’re open seasonally — four months off would be nice — and there aren’t any drug addicts wandering around that area.  The problem is that the farm is on a septic system that’s not approved for a restaurant.

Crime and Punishment

I heard the owner was charged with assault for beating the shit out of someone.  True?
Yes,

Why did he do that?
Drug addict wouldn’t leave after being told to do so three times.  He was trespassing and the Soup Nazi sign says that trespassers will be “SPANK’D.”

How badly did he spank him? 
From the police report:

Is the owner going to go to jail?
Maybe.

Has the owner spanked the the woke micro-prick who shot up the place and harassed the owner online and in drive-bys?  
No.

Why not?  
He doesn’t spank small bully boys with micro-penises.

Can I beat the shit out of this ugly piece of shit? 
No.  Stop getting the owner in trouble.  Though some of the shit people have been doing has been hilarious.  Thanks for the laughs.

What sort of trouble?
Owner got charged with harassment.  Guess woke bullies don’t like to be bullied.

Why do these woke dipshits think they can bully people who disagree with them?
Read about it our upcoming book: White, Whiny, and Woke: the new face of the KKK. 

Books

Any book recommendations for summer reading? 
Jim Goad’s The Redneck Manifesto: How Hillbillies, Hicks, and White Trash Became America’s Scapegoats (1998).  It’s a history and analysis of American culture and politics  from roughly 1980 to 2000 told from a self-professed cracker redneck.  Owner considers this one of the most important books Americans can read.  Even though it’s 25 years old, it shows how we got to our present times.

Judith Martin’s (aka Miss Manners) Minding Miss Manners: In an Era of Fake Etiquette (2022).  She’s one of the most intellectually robust and insightful etiquette experts ever and she has solutions to deal with the onslaught of modern bad manners that get passed off as virtuous and graceful.  Read this to learn how to deal with assholes without beating the shit out of them.

When will owner release new book?
White, Whiny, and Woke: the new face of the KKKis expected to be released by end of this year.  It’s about how Woke got hijacked by whiny white people, some who pretend to be Jewish for protection and victim points.

Aiming to release How to Suck Your Own Dick: an Alive Juice Bar Guide to Men’s Health by November, in time for Christmas season.  Just in time to buy it for your husband/boyfriend!

We’ll also restart the comic strip: Misadventures of Dipshit Doug.  It’s about the efforts and humiliations of a woke loser with a micro-penis who thinks it’s okay to harass people who disagree with him.  It features based on real life characters such as the notorious Andrew Tate, anxiety-ridden Zoe Bee, the Anchor Pub rapist Christian Sayre,  and more.  It’ll be on YouTube soon.

Book Description

You crave or have a dick.  Would you prefer to do the sex with and/or as someone who can suck his own dick, or not?  (I didn’t say “does,” I said “can”).  You want that dick to be healthy and hard, or feeble and flaccid?

Alive Juice Bar’s Guide to Men’s Health: How to Suck Your Own Dick will show you how to keep yourself and/or your man limber, robust, and hard into old age.  This book advises men on nutrition and the mental and physical exercises they need to do to be youthful and in sharp mental and physical shape at any age.  Included are simple recipes and meal prep strategies, suggested weekly exercise routines, and neuroplasticity drills.  There’s also a bonus chapter on Oriental sex tricks that double as penis and fascia workouts so you and/or your man can achieve autofellatio (if you want) and shoot jizz farther than ever.

Working toward sucking your own dick will improve your health, regardless of age, guaranteed.

Introduction

Nostalgia is a sign of bad health.  “I grew up in the 80s, and that was the best decade,” people write in the comments section for a popular 80s music video on YouTube.  Was it really?  Would any of these people trade their smart phone for a rotary phone, Internet access for a CB radio and a Walkman, and a 2020 Hyundai Elantra for a 1985 Cadillac Seville as their commuter car?  Of course not, they wouldn’t be commenting on YouTube if they’d made the trade, one that’s available to Americans who don’t live in poverty, every day.

So why are many people sentimental about their youth?  Was the music really that much better or is it better because of the memories it evokes?  Why are memories of angst filled youth and dumb decisions comforting?  Not saying each decade doesn’t have its own unique high points – people looked better and were healthier before the obesity epidemic, for instance.  But the 80s was also the decade of AIDS epidemic and the highest crime rates ever recorded.  In 1989, there were 1905 people murdered in New York City.  In 2022, there were 433 murders.

This isn’t just about the 80s, it’s about people’s propensity to romanticize their youth, no matter how wretched it was compared to their present.  I remember working on a documentary about the New York City’s Lower East Side, which was a slummy neighborhood until around year 2000.  Everyone who grew up there in the 1950s told me about the “good old times,” like the entire family sleeping on the iconic metal fire escapes during the miserably hot and humid summers.  These same people moved from 600 sf tenements for a family of six to spacious, air-conditioned homes in the suburbs during the 1960s.  If their youth was so wonderful, why would they deprive their own children of the same experience?  How can so many people romanticize what most people today consider poverty?

My theory is that those reminisce about their youth do to avoid the pain of being unhealthy in the present.  The 50-year-old who is in better shape than he was when he was 20 isn’t going to be pining about his 20^th year of life.  Ask former fat-fuck turned Navy Seal and ultra marathoner, David Goggins.  He went from being 6’1” and nearly 300 lbs. of flab (he wasn’t a football lineman) in his early 20s to a 175 lbs. 50-year-old fitness magazine model and motivational speaker today.  You think he’s reminiscing about the days when he couldn’t see his dick from a standing position?  Goggins never speaks wistfully about his youth, watch his interviews on YouTube if you don’t believe me.

If my theory is right, that being healthy – limber, robust, and free of pain – is such a wonderful state of being that it’s better to be so than to have all the trappings of a luxurious life while being feeble, then why do so many in the modern world choose to be frail than fit as they age?  I say “modern” because there’s anthropological evidence that those who live in a pre-modern world – no chairs, elevators, anything that reduces physical labor for survival – don’t suffer from the same physical ailments as many of those who live in industrialized societies.  Like the elderly who don’t suffer from back pain despite working their entire lives to gather food, for instance.  From NPR’s segment on Lost Posture: Why Some Indigenous Cultures May Not Have Back Pain[1]:

Believe it or not, there are a few cultures in the world where back pain hardly exists. One indigenous tribe in central India reported essentially none. And the discs in their backs showed little signs of degeneration as people aged.

Westerners tend to believe that the body necessarily degenerates with age and use.  That’s not true, according to the “posture guru” and acupuncturist Esther Gokhale, interviewed in the above mentioned NPR segment:

“I have a picture in my book of these two women who spend seven to nine hours everyday, bent over, gathering water chestnuts,” Gokhale says. “They’re quite old. But the truth is they don’t have a back pain.”

If routine physical labor and age don’t cause back pain, then what does?  What about other physical and mental ailments, such as erectile dysfunction and Alzheimer’s, are they due to labor and age, or not?

The science regarding the link between age and ailments isn’t conclusive and either way, it doesn’t matter.  What matters is that you have to believe that age isn’t an excuse for having lower back pain or brain fog; or tight hips that restrict your movement; or the beer belly that likely causes lower back pain, bad posture, and makes your cock look small; or your inability to learn a new language.  If you don’t believe that age isn’t an excuse, then this book is of no use to you.

The point of this health book isn’t to teach you how to suck your own dick.  It’s cool if you want to, and I have a feeling that most women and gay men would like to see their man – or any man — pull it off.  (It’s mostly straight men who don’t want to suck their own dick, I suspect).  The purpose of this book is to help men become healthier, and the ability to suck one’s own dick is just a symbolic and probably abstract goal for them in their pursuit of a more vigorous life.  You can succeed in improving your life without sucking your own dick, okay?  But working to suck your own duck will make you healthier, guaranteed.  Like, what does it take to suck one’s own dick?  One has to be:

• Limber
• Slender
• Decently endowed

This book will help you become more limber, slender, and better endowed, and it won’t be as difficult as you think.  It won’t be easy, but you can still eat tasty food, drink alcohol, and not spend more than 10 hours a week on physical exercise.  And it’ll probably save you money, short and long term, because eating well costs less than eating shit that makes you inflamed, bloated, and torpid.  So let’s do it!

To do it, you need to have the Right Mindset, the topic of Part I of this book.  Chapter 1, Age is a Lame Excuse, berates those for blaming age, instead of their chronic bad habits, for their health problems.  It reviews some anthropological and medical literature about health and aging in modern and pre-modern societies to convince you that there shouldn’t be a significant decline in physical and cognitive performance as you age.  Chapter 2 shows you how to Think Like a Three-Year-Old.  You can train yourself to become more curious and regain much of the neuroplasticity that your brain once had.  To do so, you might need to assess your attitude about Mental Health, the title of Chapter 3, because many physical ailments are manifestations of mental ones.  And you need to have the right mindset to work through the Physical Exercises – Part II of this book – to help you suck your own dick.

We kick off Part II with Suck Your Dick Workouts, the title of chapter 4.  Most physical ailments begin with a weak core, your abs and hips.  Here you’ll be shown to how strengthen your core so you can move correctly without fucking up the rest of your body in your own fucked up way.  It’ll hurt, but it won’t be as painful as you think and soon, you’ll be fucking like a porn star on Viagra.  In chapter 5, you’ll be shown exercises – resistance training — to boost testosterone so you can fuck with more frequency and your jizz will shoot farther.  Chapter 6, Exercises for Hair Growth, you’ll be introduced to the head stand.  My hair was thinning and greying until I started to do a head stand every day, and now it’s as thick and dark as ever.  The headstand sounds intimidating to some, but it’s not that hard and private inversion lessons costs a lot less than those stupid creams, hair transplants, and hair pieces.  Inversions are also face lifts so your facial skin looks less droopy.

Part III is a primer on the Diet and Nutrition you need to suck your own dick.  We get to the heart of the matter in Chapter 7, How to Train Your Palate to Eat Less. Most diets don’t work because they’re asking people to eat what they don’t like to eat.  This chapter explains how to get around this dilemma by training your palate to crave less sugar to be satisfied.  Chapter 8, What to Eat, suggests what you should eat to be lean, limber, and free of inflammation.  This chapter will probably save you money, because eating well is cheaper than you think once you stop eating the bullshit health foods you don’t like.  Chapter 9 considers When to Eat.  Should you eat three meals a day?  Should you eat within an hour after waking up?  Can intermittent fasting reverse aging?

Part IV is about some of the Mental Exercises you can practice to improve brain neuroplasticity so you don’t become a dumb fuck as you age.  These exercises work in conjunction with the physical exercises outlined in this book because mental health = physical health.  Chapter 10 – Mental Drills — suggests fun ways to keep your mind sharp, and warns about seemingly harmless activities that’ll make you dull minded.  Chapter 11 shows you how to Learn a New Language to improve brain neuroplasticity so you can think and act like a three-year-old again.  Full circle.

Being able to suck your own dick doesn’t mean you don’t need Medical Care, Part V of this book.  Chapter 12 — What We Can Learn About Vaccines from the Japanese – begins with a history of how medical science works and what we can learn from its of successes and failures.  Pre-Modern Medicine, the title of chapter 13, reviews alternatives to modern medicine to fix your health problems.  It doesn’t discount evidence based medicine, it points out that medicine is an art and a science, and recognizing it as such will help you make better decisions about how to reach your goal of sucking your own dick.  We end with Chapter 14 – Recommended Readings —  reviews of books written by Western trained medical doctors critical of Western medicine who suggest alternative strategies to live a robust life till you die.

This book should be read – in the first reading – in chronological order, from Introduction to the end.  To read otherwise might be confusing.  Send questions and comments to foodyap@gmail.com, put “I want to suck my own dick” in the subject line if you want a reply.  Enjoy, and good health.

[1] June 8, 2015, by Michaeleen Doucleff.  https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2015/06/08/412314701/lost-posture-why-indigenous-cultures-dont-have-back-pain

Book Description

Wonder why the Woke are so White, even though being Woke started off as a Black movement? Who are the Woke, how do they think, and what do they *really* want? White, Whiny, and Woke answers these questions and argues that being Woke isn’t a youthful phase, it’s a crippling lifestyle that’s similar to that of the KKK in the 1920s. This book proposes that White Wokeism has its roots not in the original Black Woke movement, but in the self-esteem movement that started in the 1970s. And American racial dynamics have changed because of this, it’s no longer Whites versus People of Color, as evidenced by the increased popularity of Donald Trump among Blacks and Latinos during the 2020 presidential election. The prevalence of White Wokeism is evidence that America is no longer divided by race and class, but by ideology. Read this book to understand how America is now a post-racial society, despite Woke insistence that it’s as racist as ever. You should also read this book if you want tools to protect yourself and your loved ones — children especially — from becoming White, Whiny, and Woke, regardless of your race.

The author is well suited to answer these questions because he’s been pissing off Woke dipshits for half of his life, first as a doctoral student in Cultural Anthropology at the University of Washington, the rest as the owner of Alive Juice Bar and The Soup Nazi Kitchen, both located in downtown Everett, WA. The opening of the latter resulted in a drive by shooting by Antifa and death threats, hate mail, and review bombs by Woke dipshits.

Introduction

Look to the past to understand the present.  From history and cultural anthropology, we learn that as social structure evolves — feudalism to capitalism, for instance — social codes and archetypes from one era reappear in another in a different form. Example: Aunt Jemima, year 1900.  She’s loved by White people because she takes good care of them.  Mammy, the “house nigger” archetype. Oprah Winfrey, year 2000.  Same shit, different form.  Look at her audience — mostly middle-class White women. Oprah is their Mammy, telling them which books to read, which diets to follow, and which causes to get worked up about. The only difference is that Oprah makes coin because she lives in a more advanced stage of capitalism than did those who represented Aunt J in minstrel shows a century ago.

History repeats itself, especially when it’s studied, because those who study it are prone to narcissistic delusions about their wisdom, knowledge, and righteousness.  Such arrogance invariably leads to the same mistakes made in the past.  That’s why the US spent 14 years occupying Afghanistan – the graveyard of empires – after watching the Soviet Union fail at the same endeavor.  The chronically delusional American is particularly enamored with entreating others to be “on the right side of history.”  That’s because human nature doesn’t change.  People remain the same – narcissism is our original sin — regardless of time and place, technology and mores.  Culture (social training) can mitigate certain behaviors and influence outcomes, but peek beneath the veneer of civility and you’ll see varying degrees of venality and hubris, cruelty and malice.

That archetypes and institutions from the past reappear in the present is the premise this book is based on.  Here I argue that the 1920s version of the KKK has re-emerged as the present day (year 2023) White Woke movement.   Some say, “how can that be, the Woke are explicitly anti-racist, while the KKK was openly racist?”  But for all their posturing and virtue signaling, are the White Woke anti-racist?  A Black Columbia University linguist, John McWhorter, doesn’t think so, that’s why he published a New York Times bestseller in 2021, Woke Racism: How a New Religion Has Betrayed Black America.   Wilfred Reilly, a Black professor of political science at Kentucky State University, says: “most people advocating for radical social change on behalf of people of color are not themselves people of color.”[1] The White Woke support policies that most people of color DON’T support, such as defunding the police and the abolition of charter schools.[2] From the New York Times, covering efforts to defund the police in Minneapolis, a Black resident’s perspective:

This was made plain last week when voters rejected a proposal to replace the Minneapolis Police Department with a new Department of Public Safety. While many white progressives embraced the ballot measure as a sign of progress, many Black residents like me raised concerns that the plan lacked specificity and could reduce public safety in the Black community without increasing police accountability. The city’s largest Black neighborhoods voted it down, while support was greater in areas where more white liberals lived.[3]

What does this misalignment of desired policies between two allegedly allied groups reveal about the White, Whiny, and Woke?  Do they really want what’s best for people of color, do they care about liberty, justice, and equality, or are they more concerned about their own sense of self in relation to the lofty expectations of themselves – pushed by the self-esteem movement — that they’ve failed to achieve?  Do the White, Whiny, and Woke even care about non-Whites and the poor, or do they only care about inflating their sense of self vis-à-vis virtue signaling, similar to those who joined the KKK in the 1920s?  Do they care more about obtaining power for themselves, or empowering those in need?

Eugenics was the rage and racism was socially acceptable during the 1920s.  That’s no longer the case in the 2020s, how many Americans do you know who are okay with being called a racist?  Today, in 2023, calling someone a racist is like calling someone a pedophile.  So-called racist groups like the Proud Boys – a multiracial and gay friendly fraternity that celebrates Western civilization — take offense at being called racist.  Point is, one can’t virtue signal to the broader society by declaring oneself a racist anymore.  But one can virtue signal by declaring oneself an anti-racist on the lookout for racism and racists.  The context has changed, so what does it mean to say that human nature remains the same this time around?

Do you think that most members of the 1920s KKK would, if reincarnated to live in the present with the same socio-economic status as before, still be members of the KKK?  Or would they express their grievances by aligning themselves with a cause that’s socially acceptable today?  Who and how many people living in the present would join the KKK if they lived in the 1920s?  Keep in mind that the 1920s version of the KKK primarily consisted of lower middle-class White Protestants who lived in the Midwest (in 1924, 40% of all KKK members lived in Ohio, Indiana, and Illinois) and the main object of their ire and harassment were Catholic immigrants.  They didn’t like Jews, Blacks, and the Chinese either, but their principal focus was on curtailing immigration from Catholic and other non-Protestant lands, ostensibly because they believed that these immigrants were corrupting American society but on closer examination, it’s because they believed that the newcomers were depressing their wages.  So the main source of their grievance was *economic*, just as I propose it is today for the White, Whiny, and Woke, who are also mostly White lower-middle class and angry about their prospects for the life they think they deserve.  America has changed a lot over the past 100 years, but the same grievances remain – loss of willpower to live a better life in face of rapid economic and technological changes.

My aim here is to show that the White and Woke are, in fact, Whiny as a spoiled lapdog that hasn’t been coddled for a day.  And that whininess shows that their goal isn’t liberty, equality, and justice for all – the ideal hallmarks of American life – it’s to justify their failures in life.  Similar to the KKK of the 1920s, the White and Whiny become Woke not for moral or ethical reasons, as they claim, but to make sense of their failures as White people, the so-called privileged race.  If White people are privileged, then being White and lower-middle class is nearly as bad as being Asian and the dumbest kid in school.  There’s no sympathy or affirmative action, White losers are free game to be fucked with, especially if they’re men.  A few respond by becoming White supremacists.  Others work their way out of White loserdom by working harder to improve themselves instead of changing others and are proud of their working-class roots and lifestyles.  And then there are those who lash out by becoming anti-racist crusaders who deny their Whiteness by aligning with racial minorities and neo-Marxist academic influencers in an attempt to elevate their status from losers to the intellectually hip oppressed.  Would that explain why so many White, Whiny, and Woke with Anglo surnames claim to be Jewish?

What of the Woke who’ve achieved a modicum of success?  And aren’t the Woke the cultural elites in the media and academia?  They’ll be discussed as a separate group, as the influencers who’ve created and guide the White, Whiny, and Woke, who are mere pawns in the culture wars.

That said, the White, Whiny, and Woke aren’t merely products of neo-Marxist influencers from academia.  They’re also the result of the self-esteem movement that began with Ayn Rand’s boytoy, Nathaniel Braden when he published The Psychology of Self-Esteem in 1969.  It’s the convergence of the American neo-Marxist philosophy and the self-esteem movement that created the White, Whiny, and Woke.  And it’s the self-esteem movement, not Marxism, that has caused the most harm.  Marxists from other parts of the world aren’t whiny and obsessed with issues such as gender pronouns, okay?  And surprise, I actually think that Marxism is a useful counterpoint to capitalism and that without it, we’d get a much uglier version of commercial enterprise.  The self-esteem movement, on the other hand, is narcissism rebranded as a virtue.  Combine narcissism with Marxism and you get a neo-Marxist doctrine that’s as pernicious and debilitating as 1920s KKK ideology.

Part I of this book asks: Who are the Woke?  Chapter 1 sketches the Lives and Lifestyles of the White, Whiny, and Woke.  What are their jobs, how do they spend their leisure time, what are their morals, what do they think about?  The Lives and Lifestyles of the Woke Elite is the topic of chapter 2, a glimpse into the logic of Woke academic thought.  Chapter 3 is a quiz to gauge How White, Whiny, and Woke Are You, regardless of your race.

Part II – Woke Philosophy – expounds on the intellectual history of White Wokeism so you know where they get their ideas from.  This section begins with Chapter 4, Black Woke, which traces the African American origins of the term “Woke.”  White Woke, the title of Chapter 5, follows how “Woke” was hijacked by White activists and the academic elite and their reasons for doing so.  Chapter 6, Why the Woke are Obsessed with Nazis and the KKK, is a psychoanalytic exploration of the Woke mindset, which is eerily similar to that of the 1920s KKK.  Chapter 7, Woke Language Translated, makes sense of the terms the Woke use, such as empathy and inclusion, to define themselves and their mission.

The theme of Part III is How to Protect Yourself and Loved Ones from Becoming Woke Zombies.  So many have watched in horror someone they know become infected with victimhood mentality, narcissistic rage, and ugly fashion.  This section provides cures for the Woke disease.  One such cure is an understanding of Basic Economics, because anyone who thinks that economics is a zero-sum game and that resources are finite will become Woke.  Chapter 9, Woke Economics, explains how the Woke understand the economic world and why their worldview turns them into dipshits who fuck everything up in their own fucked up way.  Chapter 10 puts the previous two chapters in battle with each other by explaining why Wage Stagnation is a Stupid Myth.  To avoid becoming a Woke Zombie, it’s also important to have a healthy mindset about yourself and others.  So chapter 11 advises you to Change Yourself to Influence Others, which is more effective and healthier than trying to force others to change to suit yourself, as Woke Zombies tend to do.  We end with Chapter 12, Recommended Readings, as cures for the Woke mindset.

[1] https://www.prageru.com/video/the-whiteness-of-wokeness?gclid=CjwKCAjwrpOiBhBVEiwA_473dDbyL-ckFPny1iVHOGAbwYO5GBcq-bKfkI0jSu38NZPxlDnPDuTNqBoCEh8QAvD_BwE

[2] The Star Tribune, MPR News, KARE 11 and FRONTLINE, the PBS series, interviewed 800 Minnesota likely voters between Sept. 9 and Sept. 13. 2021. That sample included interviews with 537 self-identified white registered voters and 157 African-American registered voters.  Even though a higher percentage of polled Blacks than polled Whites had an unfavorable opinion of police (58% vs 51% respectively), 75% of polled Blacks did not want fewer police officers, while 14% did.  In a 2018 Bennenson Strategy Group Poll, 69% of Black *Democratic* voters supported charter schools, as did 70% of Hispanic *Democratic* voters.  https://www.the74million.org/for-democrats-race-plays-a-key-role-in-support-of-charter-schools-new-polling-shows/

[3] Black Voters Want Better Policing, Not Posturing by Progressives (Nov. 9, 2021) https://www.nytimes.com/2021/11/09/opinion/minneapolis-police-defund.html

Ever been confused or hesitant about what to order at a restaurant?  Wonder how to get the most out of your money when dining out?  Have you asked where one should go to eat for health?  If you’ve answered yes to any of those questions, then this is post is for you!

Types of Restaurants and How They Make Money

Usually, they make what nearly all people make at a lower cost and better.  To begin with, they buy in bulk, so they’re typically paying 1/4 to 2/3 of what most consumers pay for the same ingredients.  The most affordable restaurants — think McDonald’s Dollar Menu, from which you can put together a meal for under $5 — signal that it’s cheaper and more convenient and pleasurable to eat with them than it is to cook at home. That’s often true for those cooking for one, unless you’re an exceptional cook or only eating the cheapest of frozen meals and ramen.

Then there are restaurants that cost, for many, 10-35% more than cooking a standard home meal but provide good value.  Alive Juice Bar’s salmon meal and Soup Nazi Kitchen’s beef stew are examples.  At $10 and $11 respectively, they cost a bit more than making beef spaghetti and salad at home.  But it’s salmon and slow cooked chuck roast, both of which are more expensive ingredients than ground beef and neither of which are easy to prepare for inexperienced cooks.  Japanese ramen is another example, mine costs $17 after tip.  I can’t make it as well or as cheaply, and I don’t want to spend money on equipment and the time to figure out how to do so because that’s not what I want to eat everyday.  Or how about the Greek diner and gyros?  These restaurants offer an affordable break from people’s weekly repertoire of home cooked meals.

Casual outing restaurants cost $50-$100 for two, and alcoholic drinks are more likely to accompany the meal.  Décor and ambiance matter at such places, people are looking for an escape from everyday life, they want something different from the usual.  Sometimes the food isn’t any different or better than what’s served at lower cost options because people are visiting for the restaurant’s aura as much as for the food.  Occasionally, the food is original — nothing like it found elsewhere — and spectacular enough to win (or deserve) Micheline stars.  Great chefs can make amazing dishes with low cost ingredients.

Special occasion restaurants start at $100 for two, without alcohol, and can exceed $1000 if it involves bottles of wine.  While the food isn’t necessarily better than what’s found at casual outing restaurants, it’s more expensive because it’s made with higher priced, though not necessarily better, ingredients.  A casual outing restaurant might serve a well marbled tri-tip steak, which most chefs consider superior in flavor to the more expensive beef tenderloin served at the special occasion restaurant.  The décor is usually noticeably grander than what you’d find at more casual restaurants.

And finally, the once in a lifetime restaurants, the ones most go to once in their lives with no intention to return.  These restaurants either have at least two Micheline stars or are ranked in the top 50 by UK based Restaurant Magazine.  The décor and service is typically memorable and regardless of location, prices generally range from $200 – $800 per person.  Three Micheline star Alinea in Chicago offers a budget $200/person tasting menu (served in its secondary dining room), which costs the same as the lowest priced tasting menu (no drinks) served by 11th ranked Maido Restaurant in lower cost locale Lima, Peru.  Since most of these restaurants offer tasting menus with drink pairings, the cost per person is set, drunken carelessness won’t result in like a $2,000 bill for two.

Purposes of Going to a Restaurant

Here are a few common ones:

1. Too lazy or busy to cook, want to save time.
2. They make it better and/or cheaper than I do.
3. Boredom, want to experience something new.
4. Comfort, place is a second home, enjoy talking to the people there.
5. Educational, want to learn different ways to serve, host, and cook.
6. Celebrate a special occasion.
7. Curiosity, why is this restaurant so famous?

How to Order on a Budget Without Destroying Your Health

Most fast food places have budget menus.  At my local McDonald’s (Everett WA) a double cheeseburger and medium fries costs $4, tax not included.    A double cheeseburger and a McChicken costs the same.  Those are great deals, most don’t have the equipment to make fries or fried chicken patties of that quality.  And the cost to make a comparable double cheese burger at home is the same, except it takes 10 minutes if you’re fast (includes cleanup time).  A better use of time is to buy salad dressing and a ready to use assorted greens salad mix and pair the Dollar Menu Meal with a salad that takes a minute to make and clean.  Final cost for a somewhat healthy meal: $5, $6 if it’s a big ass salad.  It’s not grossly unhealthy — note that there isn’t an allowance for soda here — to do that two to three times a week to save time and money, especially if you’re cooking for one.

$4-$5, makes eight servings.  Add oil and vinegar or your favorite dressing.

On other days, you want to slow down and have a nicer meal.  Salmon perhaps, especially during the dark months for its Vitamin D content.  You could pick one up at Alive Juice Bar for $10, tax included.  It’s a complete meal that’s high in fiber because of the curry *brown* rice and beans and has at least three different types of seasonal veggies.  Once a week, for $15, tip included, I go to Happy Pho in Everett for a healthy pho that includes soybean sprouts, basil leaves (expensive), broccoli, onion, jalapenos, and carrots.  I skip the noodles (low carb diet) and get the beef tendon and tripe (both expensive and difficult to cook well) for its high collagen and protein content.  It’s fast too, served in under three minutes after I order.  It’s on the way after going to the gym and I can’t make it for less or better.  Tastes good too.

How to Order at a Restaurant for Health and Budget

Sometimes you want to spend more on a nice full-service restaurant.  Here are tips for ordering at a restaurant.

1. The typical appetizer -> entrée -> desert order is too much food for most people.  If you’re stuffed after a meal, it was too much food.  You should be comfortable enough to take a brisk walk after a meal.
2. You don’t have to order an entrée.  If the appetizers look interesting, order a collection of them to make a meal for two or more, all shared.  For instance, from Anthony’s Homeport in Everett, WA: bowl of clam chowder ($14); blue cheese salad w/shrimp ($11); mussels ($17); crispy calamari ($19). Those appetizers add up to $63, tax not included and are more than enough to feed two at a casual outing restaurant.  If there’s an entrée you want, ask for it to be served family style so it can be easily shared.
3. Balance flavors and textures.  Nothing wrong with ordering the same or similar ingredients twice or thrice, but avoid too much repetition.  Calamari tastes better when it’s contrasted with something that isn’t fried, like raw oysters.  A salad that’s light (no heavy dressing) balances out a fatty dish like foie gras or fried chicken and makes both taste better.  Mashed potatoes and fries are different textures and it’s okay to have both for an enjoyable meal, but too much of both is bad for your health and likely unpleasant for your palate after a few bites.  Don’t use fried rice as an accompaniment to main dishes at a Chinese restaurant, the mess of flavors will quickly dull your palate, which leads to overeating.  You eat less when you get the pleasure you expect sooner than later.  Order white rice instead, it’ll accentuate the flavors of the main dishes.
4. Aim for diversity of flavors, textures, and ingredients.  The contrasts make everything taste better, and a diverse diet is a healthy diet.  Nothing wrong with having beef five ways if it’s a bite or two of each — something like this happens with themed tasting menus.  But avoid ordering, for instance, beef stew and a 12 oz. steak unless you plan to share it.  Otherwise, you might get bored of your steak.
   

   Tapas style Syrian meal, eight small dishes for two to share. (Still too much food, most tapas style restaurants recommend 2-3 small dishes per person).

5. If you’re having trouble deciding what you want, order what you haven’t had in awhile.  A diverse diet is healthier, use the opportunity to try something different.
6. I think drink pairings are bullshit, and I’m not the only one.  It’ll cost less to have a drink at home before, maybe one at the restaurant, and then a nightcap at home.  That saves a lot of money, especially with tasting menus at special occasion restaurants — typically $150/person saved!

What not to ask or do at a restaurant

Tips:

1. Don’t ask what’s the most popular.  It might be something you don’t like.  You’re you and other people have their own preferences.  Better to tell your server what your preferences are.  “I don’t want a desert that’s cloyingly sweet” for instance.
2. Don’t ask what your server likes.  You’re you and other people have their own preferences.  Good servers will respond to such inquiries with questions about your preferences.
3. Don’t ask for seasoning spices (salt, pepper, etc.) if none are available on the table.  It means the food you’re served is to be eaten as is.  Ask for your preferred seasoning only if some seasoning is on your table.  For instance, I ask for white pepper at my favorite ramen spot that keeps soy sauce and black pepper on tables.
4. Don’t split checks at sit down restaurants when it’s busy.  Splitting checks creates a lot more work for your server than you think, and the extra charges from doing so costs restaurants money.  Most busy and higher end restaurants no longer allow for split checks.
5. Don’t disregard a restaurant’s rules.  You’re voluntarily entering into someone else’s home as a guest, okay?  If the Japanese restaurant asks you to take off your shoes before entering its tatami room, do so.  If Canlis requires coat and tie, wear them or don’t go.  If Alive Juice Bar tells you to order the moment you’re ready instead of waiting around like an idiot, do it even if it feels rude to you.  Each restaurant has its reason for operating as they do, and guests who don’t play along are fucking things up in their own fucked up way.  Don’t hesitate to ask why they do as they do when they’re not busy.
   

   Dumbfucks who woujldn’t follow ordering system receive the worst service in their lives. So bad they’ll remember it on their deathbed.

Restaurant for Health and Wellbeing

Where I go weekly with budget and health in mind:

1. Happy Pho in Everett.  High in fiber, protein, collagen (tripe and tendon), and they serve the most veggies of any pho place I’ve been to.  $14 and change with tip.  Also recommended as hangover cure, in addition to juice with turmeric and ginger at Alive Juice Bar.
2. Korea House in Marysville for tofu soup.  I get the seafood option, which includes mussels, clams, shrimp, and octopus, all ingredients I rarely make on my own.  It comes with six side dishes, such as kimchi, pickled daikon, soybean sprouts, so lots of veggies.  $20, tip included.
   

   Soft tofu soup comes with bowl of rice and six mostly veggie side dishes (unlimited). Healthy and tasty.

3. Swish Swish Hotpot, Alderwood Mall.  This is my go to meal before I do a >24 fast.  It’s $29.99 for its all you can eat lunch, it’d cost me $50 to make this on my own.  That’s because I order expensive cuts such as lamb shoulder and jumbo shrimp, and pricey nutrient dense veggies such as wood ear mushrooms, chrysanthemum leaves, and lotus root.  Skip the more pedestrian ingredients such as broccoli, chicken, and pork to get the most for your money.
4. Alive Juice Bar in downtown Everett.  The take-home meals are high in fiber, protein, and have at least three seasonal veggies.  Protein shakes like the Avocado milkshake are complete meals for those on the run: kale for salad, apple for desert, avocado and peanuts for fat and fiber, in addition to protein powder.  Tastes like a milkshake too, $9 tax included for a quick and complete meal that’ll keep you full for at least six hours.
5. The Soup Nazi Kitchen.  Each soup is high in fiber — lentils, carrots, celery, potatoes.  Protein options include salmon, beef, and chicken.  A 32 oz chicken soup is $10, tax included.  Salmon stew is $11, tax included.

Sorry so late and continued from Mexico City Trip Report II…

Santiago de Queretaro

Rented a car in Mexico City and left for Santiago de Queretaro, two and a half hours away in the central mountains of Mexico.  Founded in 1531, the city proper has a population of ~ 800,000, the metro area ~1.5 million and has the second highest GDP per capita among Mexico’s metro areas at ~$20,000.

Its economy is based on IT and data centers, logistics services, aircraft manufacturing and maintenance, call centers, the automotive and machinery industries, and the production of chemicals and food products.  The region of Querétaro has a growing vineyards agriculture and hosts the famous wine producer from Spain Freixenet. Wine production in Querétaro is now the second largest in Mexico after that of the Baja California region.

Renting a mid sized car is about $20/day and the quality of the car isn’t any different from what you’d typically find in the US.  Gas prices seem to be 20% lower than what you’d find in Seattle metro area.  Rate of traffic accidents in Mexico is comparable to that of the US, though it feels lower because in 20 hours of driving cross country and in major cities, I only saw one minor accident on a mountain pass that likely involved the sun.  In Seattle metro area, I encounter an accident every 5 hours of driving, it seems.  Still, don’t drive in Mexico unless you’re comfortable driving in New York City.  Turn signals are optional, cutting people off is normal, and pedestrians are everywhere, even in the smaller cities like Guanajuato (pop. 80,000).  Most American drivers give pedestrians feets of space.  In Mexico, cars come inches from pedestrians.  In any case, I think Mexicans are the best drivers in the world.  They’re not anxious about getting into an accident the way American drivers are, so they’re more efficient.  For instance, jaywalkers don’t phase Mexican drivers, whereas Americans drivers will stop and freak out.  Mexican drivers know how to weave through a crowd.  American drivers break down in such situations because most of them are used to low density suburban streetscapes and they’ve been schooled to be a skittish bunch.  And finally, you can ruin an American’s day by cutting them off, Mexicans don’t think anything of it.

Mexican drivers are more polite and less aggressive than, say, those angry French drivers.  If you step in front of a car in Mexico, it’ll stop.  In France (I’ve heard that’s changed in last few years, haven’t been in 16 years) and many other parts of the world, they’ll speed up and dare you to not jump out of the way.  Put simply, drive in Mexico only if you’re accustomed to driving in high density areas where traffic rules aren’t followed but there’s still common courtesy and sense.

Casona de la Republica Hotel Boutique

Stay here!  Room was $200/night and it would’ve been $1000/night if it were in Mexico City.  It’s a well renovated 17th century hacienda in the city center, which is a UNESCO World Heritage Site.  Room — 800 sf? — has two floors and two bathrooms, one of which has a sauna and a six person hot tub.  Check these out:

Not many foreign tourists in Queretaro so I was the only customer at the hotel (I stayed during the week, they have Mexican guests during weekends).  The place is like a museum, I spent an hour exploring it.

Typically there’s a full-service restaurant in the hotel, but it’s been closed since the pandemic.  Still, they offer complimentary breakfast — eggs and toast, tea, coffee, and juice.

Weather

Warm, sunny, and dry during the day, chilly (40s) in the early morning.  Comfortable for me, I hate humid weather.

Vibe and Culture

Festive, even on a Wednesday evening, and they take Christmas seriously.  Lots of Christmas and other decorations and they were working on more.  Lots of families walking around or hanging out in one of several plazas near my hotel.  Unlike Condesa in Mexico City, I didn’t hear much English, so be prepared to communicate in Spanish at hotels and restaurants.  Check out these plazas, of which there aren’t many in Mexico City.

The trees are well manicured, not much litter, no unsightly graffiti that you’d find in, say, Guadalajara. Feels safe, stores stay open till 11pm or midnight, seven days a week, people are chill and the noise loud.  Didn’t see a homeless person, street whores, or drunks (Mexico has strict drinking laws).  I’d live here and it’s a good place to raise a family.

Didn’t see many White people or Natives, nearly everyone is Mestizo.  So I suspect race relations here are different from that in Mexico City, where class is closely aligned with race.  I also didn’t see significant disparities of wealth that you’d see in Mexico City, Queretaro looks and feels like a middle-class manufacturing town.

Food

Within a mile of my hotel, there are multiple restaurants on every block, from standard American pub grub (pizza and burgers) to upscale Italian to taquerias.  The selection in the historic district could be better — too many touristy restaurants that serve the same food and experience — but the offerings throughout the city cover a lot of cuisines.  There are a few interesting looking French restaurants, a bunch of Mexican style sushi and ramen shops, noticeably more Chinese restaurants than in Mexico City, though they don’t serve Chinese food, it’s more like American Chinese food with a Mexican twist.  Pho, and cuisine from most of Latin and South America and Europe (even from Balkan states) are available.

My most interesting experience was at a casual upscale Oaxacan restaurant that specializes in bugs.  Videos:

I asked for ants with my guacamole, I got jumile bug instead?  Anyway, it’s important to take the insect eating movement seriously, it isn’t a plot by overlords to force people to eat insects instead of beef and seafood.  Insects have been a normal part of people’s diets for a long time.  Oh, and the drink is a mango smoothie.  Video of the restaurant, the most amazing looking restaurants I’ve seen have been in Mexico (Mexico City, San Miguel Allende, Queretaro, Guanajuato).  Mexicans in central Mexico are the artsiest people I’ve met, they take street art and interior design seriously.

There are lots of museums nearby, I only had time to go to one (not counting the hotel), the museum of art of Querétaro, which is located in what once was a convent.  Beautiful space:

There’s so much more I want to see: museums, restaurants outside of the historic district, and Costco.  The aqueduct, meh, don’t see why it’s a big deal.  In any case, next time, I’ll spend five days and four nights there.  Don’t think I’d drive there from Mexico City, I’d take a flight to and rent a car at the airport to drive to the hotel  (hotel provides valet parking) because the road trip isn’t visually interesting (mostly dryish mountain terrain and highway tolls are frequent and cost a lot ($65 one way from Mexico City) .  From there, I’d drive to Guanajuato — the most beautiful city I’ve seen — which is what I did.  Next travel report: Guanajuato, my favorite city.

Available on Amazon Kindle, paperback will be available in store by mid April.

To whet your appetite, below is book description and introduction.

Book Description
Do you treat everyone with equal amounts of respect?  Should you treat everyone with equal amounts of respect?  If your answers are “no,” read on.

Do you have good manners, or good fucking manners?  Have you ever thought that the manners you were taught are fucktarded?  Do you not trust polite people?  Wonder if there’s a correct way to be mean?  Want to remake yourself into a paragon of efficiency, transparency, and good fucking manners?  Then this is the etiquette book for you!  The Juice Nazi and his Head of Secret Police, Roxanne G., are back, angrier than ever and ready to impose their will on dipshits who dare oppose them.  In this book, they dissect American middle-class manners to reveal an etiquette system rife with genteel bullying, moral grandstanding, and narcissistic delusions.  They offer, in its place, an alternate etiquette system that doesn’t tolerate anything that’s fake, senseless, and wasteful. This book profanes the sacred and will make anyone who identifies as a middle-class American in morals and manners, squirm.  Misanthropists will be delighted.

Introduction

Most people think they have good manners.  Most of these people are wrong, they don’t know jack shit about good fucking manners.

To begin with, anyone who thinks good manners is about following a set of arbitrary and sometimes asinine procedures is a boorish ninny who can’t think.  One can’t be well mannered without having considered the meaning and purpose behind and effectiveness of each action, okay?  Well-mannered people are *aware* – they’re sensitive to context and purpose – and they’re curious.  It’s the insolent and lazy who use the same pick-up lines regardless of the situation, despite consistently obstructive consequences.  It’s the awkward and brainwashed who can be convinced that bitch slapping someone can be a polite greeting in another culture, just because the ethos of multiculturalism says so.  These are the people who take up two parking spots and aren’t paying attention when the light turns green.

One needs to understand why “good manners” are good manners to be well mannered.  If you don’t wonder why a certain act is “good,” then there’s a swell chance you have bad manners because etiquette is often slow to adapt to the changing world.  For instance, what’s the point of the handshake?  Are we showing that we aren’t carrying a dagger, that we come in peace?  Is it still more egalitarian and warmer than tipping the hat (that few wear nowadays) and curtsies, as the Quakers believed?  Does the transfer of germs make more people sick, or does it facilitate herd immunity?  Will the handshake survive the 2020 pandemic?  Should it?

What’s the purpose of having good manners and what’s its relationship to etiquette?  From what I’ve seen, most of the Anglo cultured world equate “good manners” with one’s knowledge and ability to follow prevailing etiquette.  In other words, “good manners” is a matter of social access and the implication is that it’s the upper class that determines the codes of good conduct.  Here’s a definition of etiquette from Merriam-Webster dictionary that reflects that ethos:

the conduct or procedure required by good breeding or prescribed by authority to be observed in social or official life.

Etiquette here is delineated as a top-down mechanism, “prescribed by authority,” and/or by those of “good breeding,” which I take to mean the upper class.  Not all dictionaries agree with this definition, let’s look at Oxford Language’s more egalitarian definition of etiquette:

the customary code of polite behavior in society or among members of a particular profession or group.

This definition implies that each social class has its own set of rules and none are intrinsically superior to others.  And these codes can be developed organically, bottom-up, rather than from sources of authority.

This tension between egalitarianism and elitism pervades American social life, resulting in ludicrous habits that get passed off as “good manners.”  So many Americans – left-wing Americans especially – want it all, they want to stick up for common folk AND be recognized as elite, which is why they’re called champagne socialists, or limousine liberals.  This paradox results in an etiquette system that encourages manners that are fake, senseless, and wasteful.  Parodies, really, performed by people who act and sound like muppets.

It doesn’t have to be that way.  The aim of this book is to suggest an alternate etiquette system that encourages people to be authentic, transparent, and efficient.  The basis of this etiquette system – Part I of this book – is the title of the first chapter, Don’t Waste People’s Time.  Well-mannered people don’t show off their good breeding – that’d be narcissism at work and it’s a waste of time – they’re focused on making their own and other people’s lives better and easier.  This chapter also explores why so many Americans think it’s good manners to waste people’s time.  Chapter 2 is a test of how well-mannered you are in the alternate etiquette system proposed in this book.

Part II is about the Secondary Principles one should abide by to be well-mannered.  These include: Save Other People Time, the title of chapter 3.  To do so, Don’t Lie, the title of chapter 4.  Yes, not lying will hurt people’s feelings, but well-mannered people care more about truth than feelings, and worrying about people’s feelings is a waste of time.  Good news is that not lying doesn’t mean you have to say anything.  So we segue to chapter 5, Less is Best, which shows you how to be minimalistic in interactions so you don’t say something stupid.  Doing so will save you and others time.  Show, Don’t Tell is the title of chapter 6.  Well-mannered people say less and do more because actions and results mean more than words.  In chapter 7, Treat Others as They Treat You, elucidates the difference between empathy and sympathy and explains why treating others as you want to be treated is a narcissistic act that’ll get you in trouble.

Part III, Situations, applies the above principles to specific situations.  Chapter 8, Phone Etiquette, shows the proper way to place a call and answer them.  This is especially important if you’re in sales, good phone etiquette will increase your sales, guaranteed.  Chapter 9, The Art of Being Mean, explores how to be mean to someone with style so you don’t look like a basic bitch Karen.  We pivot to Be Kind, Not Nice in Chapter 10 because so many people who think they’re being nice are actually acting like whiny, white, and woke dipshits like that cunt Kendra Steel.  Chapter 11, Awkward Situations, shows you how to act gracefully when the situation gets weird.  Restaurant Etiquette is the subject of Chapter 12, so you don’t dine with a chopstick up your ass when you’re eating out.  Chapter 13, How to Talk to Customers puts the principle “Treat Others as They Want to Be Treated” in action.  Those in the service industry should read this chapter.  In Chapter 14, Bad Manners that rarely get called out are discussed and dissected to reveal an American culture with fucked up priorities.  It also shows you how to respond to bad manners with good fucking manners.  Touché, villains!

Part IV examines the Purpose of Good Fucking Manners.  Like, what’s the point of this book and what can you do with it?  Chapter 15 elucidates why Chinese People Don’t Say “Thank You” anywhere as often as Americans do.  Is it because the Chinese are rude?  What does it say about the philosophical underpinnings of Chinese society?  What does this contrast reveal about American society and manners?  This chapter de-normalizes American notions of what is proper.  Chapter 16 is a review of famed chef Marco Pierre White’s memoir: Devil in the Kitchen.  What sort of manners did he have to become the youngest, at age 33, to win three Micheline stars, become the first TV rockstar chef, and train famous chefs such as Gordon Ramsey, Heston Blumenthal, and Mario Batali?  More of the same in Chapter 17, except here it’s about How Steve Jobs Made Your iPhone.  Did Steve Jobs have good manners, or good fucking manners to make his vision reality?  In Chapter 18, we appraise the Purpose of Good Fucking Manners.  What can you achieve with good fucking manners, assuming you don’t find it revolting.  Chapter 19 introduces some of you to Suggested Readings that have shaped this book.  These include etiquette classics by Emily Post, Amy Vanderbilt, and Miss Manners; lesser-known ones by outlandish authors such as flaming fag Quentin Crisp and the “Queen of Mean,” Florence King; and well-known authors whose books can be read as, but aren’t, about etiquette, such as Robert Greene and Frederick Nietzsche.  This chapter conveys that there are divergent thoughts about etiquette and it’s up to you to decide what works best for you.

We finish with Final Thoughts and Questions in Chapter 20, where I talk about my transcultural experiences with etiquette to highlight the uniqueness of American preoccupation with etiquette and of its implications.  I also ask the reader questions about their relationship with etiquette.  Do you respect everyone equally?  Should you?

After you’ve read the first seven chapters, you can skip around.  You need to understand the principles behind my etiquette system before you can understand how they work in everyday situations.

Send comments, including hate mail and death threats, to foodyap@gmail.com.  Enjoy!

Flew in on Air Canada, Seattle to Vancouver — six hour layover — to Mexico City.  I chose this roundabout route not because it’s cheaper — it’s $30 more, one-way — but because Air Canada is my airline of choice and I wanted to try a Japanese-Italian restaurant in Richmond, BC, Wasatu Pasta, a 10 minute taxi ride from the airport.

Wasatu Pasta  

I consider Japanese cuisine the best because it uses the widest range of ingredients and cooking methods, and it’s the least wasteful.  Shrimp shells and heads, for instance, are appetizers instead of discarded.

Fried shrimp heads is what you get when you order live spot prawn sushi. Crunchy and yummy.  My favorite version of this in Seattle is at Shiki Restaurant in Queen Anne.

Japanese cuisine has always been quick to adopt foreign influences. Katzu, for example, is the Japanese version of Portuguese pork cutlet.  Ramen is a Chinese dish that the Japanese improved on and popularized throughout the world.

I ordered the Fettuccini Scallop Uni Cream Sauce Pasta and the Wagyu Beef Carpaccio.

Don’t remember what the greens in the middle are. Pieces of radish, focaccia bread, arugula, capers, fish eggs, and sprinkles of parmesan. Beef was sliced thin so it was tender, but it doesn’t look marbled enough to be Wagyu.

Fettuccini in Uni Cream.

I enjoyed what I had well enough, but I prefer to get Chinese food in downtown Richmond or Japanese food on the West End of Vancouver.  Both are accessible by rapid transit from the airport, 18 minutes to downtown Richmond, 30 to downtown Vancouver.

The Uni Fettuccini is good but I’d rather have it (and pasta in general) as an appetizer instead of a main.  It was too rich and creamy for me after four bites, it was a burden to finish.  Flavor-wise, it’s milder and a hint sweeter than typical alfredo fettuccini.  The portion is large enough to be shareable as an appetizer among four people. Same with the carpaccio appetizer.  Except for the fish eggs and miso seasoning, the carpaccio wasn’t noticeably different from standard carpaccio I’ve had.  Ultimately, I prefer meals served tapas style (small plates) typical at Japanese izakayas — you can create more balanced and interesting meals that way.  And I prefer no more than three or four bites of something.

Mexico City

Second visit — read about first one here —  this time as a launching pad to visit other cities I might want to move to.  Main difference I noticed since my last visit a year ago is that there are more Americans living in the city, more construction (gentrification), and everything is more expensive.  Locals blame Americans for driving up the prices.  And I’m not surprised many Americans in their 20s who work remotely are moving to Mexico City.  You can live an upper-middle class lifestyle here on $50,000/year, which would make you poor in NYC.

Stayed at the highly rated and touted Red Tree House,which is $100 less per day I paid to stay at the Sofitel (French hotel chain) next to the US embassy.  Here, you get free breakfast (fruit, yogurt, bread, and daily hot special) and happy hour, this is great for those who want to socialize with other American travelers.  (I didn’t).  No pool or fitness room, which is fine because I wanted to force myself to learn Spanish by going to a local gym.  I didn’t like my room — so small that there’s no room for yoga and the low (7 ft) ceilings made it feel smaller; shower was unpredictable; and the bed felt old and cheap.  But people love staying at this place for its charm and service.

Red Tree House is located in Condesa neighborhood, which reminds me Park Slope, Brooklyn.  It’s as bougie — yoga, pilates, pole dancing, Belgian restaurants that serve 15 USD waffles, vegan churrios, coffee shops everywhere, lots of dogs getting walked to the dog park — and 20% of its residents seem to be Americans.  It’s a pleasant neighborhood, just not interesting to someone trying to take a vacation FROM America and Americans.  I was in a restaurant and for awhile, all patrons were Americans.  So much English spoken in Condesa makes it difficult to learn Spanish.  Also, there isn’t a subway line in the neighborhood.

I spent three nights and days in Mexico City and I had a pinched nerve, so I didn’t venture far.  Below are a few videos of Condesa:

Doesn’t that look like Park Slope, Brooklyn?  Here’s a shot of Park Slope:

There’s a nice park in the neighborhood with a spacious dog park.

It’s full of restaurants that serve food that look like this:

I don’t recall what that was, I only remember thinking that I was in Park Slope, Brooklyn while eating it because the scene looked and sounded just like it.  Below is what I imagine old Condesa looked like, photo I took on this trip:

Patches of Condesa look like this.  The building on the right is being renovated and I’m assuming the one on the left will soon be demolished or renovated.

I spent the second day at the Soumaya Museum in Polanco neighborhood, considered the poshest and most prestigious in Mexico.  Like homes start at a million so I don’t think many Americans live there.  Whereas in Condesa, $250,000 will get you a nice two bedroom.  And Polanco looks sterile, though I didn’t explore it thoroughly.

Anyway, Soumaya Museum is iconicfor its architecture and interior design.

Lots of construction in Polanco too.  Costco (shown in video) is an upper class brand in Mexico.  (Middle to upper-middle in the US).  There’s a shopping mall next to the museum I wanted to explore but my leg was hurting so much that I headed back to the hotel.  Anyway, the interior of the museum below.

It’s cool looking, but that’s an extravagant use of space.  I wonder what the architects and interior designers were thinking.  Notice that Rodin’s The Thinker is here?  I had no idea, that was a fun surprise!

Back in Condesa, I looked for a traditional taqueria — tacos and beer.  Not many of them left in the neighborhood and oddly, there’s not a lot of street food.  I finally found one, and it was 2-1 taco pastors.

Six tacos and a liter of tasty Mexican dark beer for 6 USD!  So it’s still possible to eat well in Mexico City for under $10/per person.

I also tried a ramen place — Diego Ramen — that had a line out the door every time I passed it when I was in Mexico City a year ago.  This time it was nearly empty.  Here’s what I had:

Regular tonkatsu ramen.  Not bad, decent balance of protein and veggies.  This bowl costs 12 USD, while in Seattle, I pay $15 for ramen at Muto Izakaya.  I wonder if the price is why there’s no longer a line, or if I went at a typically slow time.  I seem to remember paying around 6 USD for a bowl of ramen the previous time I was in MC.  I also had gyozas, which they make well (in house) but then fuck up by frying the entire thing.

The skin isn’t too thick, it’s made well, but don’t fry the entire piece.  Either don’t fry it all, or only fry the bottom.  The contrast between the slightly crispy bottom and the billowy top all in one bite is partially what makes pot stickers enjoyable.

That’s all the time I had, the third day was spent at the gym and then to the airport to pick up a rental car.  Next stop would be Santiago de Queretaro, two and a half hour drive away.

Are you afraid your kids will grow up to be whiny dipshits who complain about stupid shit?  Has their school gone Woke?  Do you live in Woke Zombieland?  Then this is the children’s book for you and your kid(s)!  Rabbits, So Many Rabbits, explains basic economics to  kids and adults because those who don’t understand basic economics turn into dumbfucks who smell like Satan’s ass.  This book will teach your kids why some people become poor, while others become wealthy, and the risks it takes to become so.  This is the first book in our non-Woke education series, and it aims to teach kids that:

• economics is NOT a zero-sum game, where for every winner there has to be a loser
• resources are NOT limited because human ingenuity is infinite
• the economy is a pie that some people grow larger, while others make smaller.

Those who believe that economics IS a zero-sum game and that resources ARE limited are likely to advocate all sorts of asinine policies, to become zombies, really.  Don’t let your kids turn into zombies, buy this book on Kindle today!  It’s free if you have Kindle Unlimited.

Check out the entire book on our YouTube channel.  This version lacks the illustration details that the Kindle version has, which means you’ll miss out on the jokes.  Remember to subscribe as we’ll soon be adding  new and quirky content.  The next book in the series is tentatively titled: Where Have All the Rabbits Gone?  It’s about what happens when dipshits implement their dumbfucking policies.

Ever looked at a Christmas Village and wondered what it’d be like to live in one?  If you have, then you should visit Quebec City during its Christmas festival season (mid-November to end of December).

To begin with, Old Quebec City, founded in 1608 by the French, is the most  European and Christmas Village looking city in North America.  Check these out:

The last video above is especially romantic: small rustic restaurant named “Lapin Saute” (The Jumping Rabbit), steady falling snow outside, and they even use a real fireplace so you hear the wood crackling.

Before you romanticize the scenes above too much, keep in mind that Lapin Saute specializes in serving furry and adorable rabbits.  I had the kidney and liver rabbit salad:

Quebecoise cuisine is rednecky.   Game meat  — deer, rabbit, guinea fowl, and duck — is on the menu at most restaurants in Old Quebec City.  Deer tartare (my first time) at Le Clan, a modernist restaurant (there are six of them there I’m aware of), below.

I also had deer tartare at a diner, and in both cases, the deer didn’t taste gamey, it’s more of a lighter version of its beef counterpart.  Guinea fowl, which I tried for the first time, is a bit denser and stronger in flavor than chicken.  Rabbit is also similar to chicken, but denser and earthier.  Duck is fattier and more flavorful than chicken.  Below is duck confit drumsticks with veggie (beets, yams, and potatoes) fries, from Sam Bistro.

Above is pan seared foie gras from La Buche (the log) a redneck diner that plays music from Quebec Redneck Bluegrass Project.

Main difference is that the redneck foie gras is sweeter than usual because it has so much maple syrup.  And they added bacon to it.  On the fish side, Salmon — smoked or served as tartare — is most common.

When to go

I went the last week of November for nearly a week.  Temperatures ranged from 40F to 10F, which is typical, and it snowed for a few of the days.  If you go in mid December, when the temperatures rarely get above 30F and will sometimes dip below 0F, but the toboggan rides next to the Saint Laurent River and the Frontenac Castle Hotel are open!

It should also be cold enough by then that you can visit the construction of the Ice Hotel outside of Old Quebec City.

It’s cold but at least they provide open air fire pits for you to warm up to.  Here are a few at the German Christmas Market that’s open over the weekends.

At the German Market, you can buy small hand crafted gifts and food, including fondue, homemade candy, and hot (as in temperature) tomato wine and hot ginger shots.

Where to stay

I stayed at the Fairmont Frontenac, supposedly the most photographed hotel in the world.  I’d stay there again, even though I did research boutique alternatives for the same cost ($200/night).  First, it’s a great location especially if you’re there during the toboggan ride season starting in mid December.  The river is there, as is the funicular to visit the lower part of the city, which is also where the art galleries are.  Unlike comparably rated hotels, it has a gym and a pool, great to have in case there’s a cold snap or because the the sidewalks are difficult to walk on.  WARNING: they surprisingly don’t do a good job of shoveling and salting sidewalks so bring snow shoes, hiking shoes aren’t good enough.

It’s a big ass hotel, with several wings and up to 17 floors.  Inside are cute and pricey shops and four restaurants, so there’s enough going on in there to keep you busy for an entire day if you don’t feel like going out.

DON’T stay at a low rated hotel, where safety measures will be lax and guests are more likely to do stupid shit like start a fire.  That’s what happened a few blocks away, and it shut down power on several city blocks, including at the Frontenac for two hours.  Imagine standing outside in the cold for hours, waiting for the fire department to finish working.

Since it’s a famous hotel with a couple of well known restaurants, it’s busy with tourists.  The lobbies will be crowded and noisy.  If that bothers you, then consider a comparably priced boutique hotel where you’ll probably get more intimate service.  Oh, and don’t expect Frontenac to look like a Fairmont.  My basic room with city view was perfect size — large enough for yoga and there’s a desk to use as a workstation.  But perhaps because the hotel opened in 1893, it feels a bit dated and some of their updates are questionable.  The shower head, for instance, is great for residential use, but too complicated for hotels.  Otherwise, everything works well, as expected from a Fairmont.

Language

Quebec City isn’t just the capital of Quebec, it’s the cultural capital of French-Canada.  Most everyone who works in the Old City speaks English in addition to French so English speakers don’t have to worry about language barriers.  Those of you who want to practice French, Quebec City is better than Montreal.  People in QC were more likely to help you practice French than in Montreal, where French speaking folks aren’t as protective of the French language and they all seem to speak English perfectly.

Cost

Bacon and two eggs breakfast is $18 CND.  An IPA is $9 CND.  Take 20% off and that’ll be your cost in USD, so prices are comparable to what you’d find in the US.

Overall Impressions

Clean, no visible drug users, street whores, and homeless.  A lot more tourists than expected, Saturday evening was shoulder to shoulder.  Has a Disney atmosphere except everything is real.

Restaurant food could’ve been more varied, seemed like most restaurants served the same ingredients — game meats, poutine, fondue, fish and chips.  I suspect locals have a more varied diet, as there are a bunch of ramen places just outside of Old Quebec.  I saw a Japanese restaurant, but it was closed, for some reason.

Next up, Mexico City and Queretaro.  Followed by Guanajuato and then Lima, Peru.

Link to book description and intro:  New etiquette book available for pre-order

This book will be for sale in store sometime in January 2023.

Chapter 10

It’s okay to be mean, really.  Even Jesus Christ was a mean motherfucker when people fucked with his shit, flipping tables and all.  From the book of Matthew 21:12-13:

(12)And Jesus entered the temple[a] and drove out all who sold and bought in the temple, and he overturned the tables of the money-changers and the seats of those who sold pigeons. (13) He said to them, “It is written, ‘My house shall be called a house of prayer,’ but you make it a den of robbers.”

That’s right, anyone who thinks Jesus was a nice dude not only hasn’t read the Bible, but probably thinks Pedro the priest doesn’t jerk off to biddibongbiddibing.

It’s human nature to be mean, though some are naturally meaner than others.  Those are details best left for another treatment, let’s start with the premise that there are good and bad ways to be mean.  You can be mean in a way that’s bad for your mental health, for instance.  Which implies that there are ways to be mean that’s healthy for you.  You can also be gratuitously mean.  You may not be mean enough, or at least not mean in an effective way.  And you can be mean in a way that’ll attract those who can make your life better, and drive away those who’ll make you miserable.  In summary, the art of being mean is worth thinking about.  So let’s examine how most people are mean in Anglo cultures (eg. US, UK, Canada) since I’m writing for the Anglo audience.

Sarcasm 

Anglo cultures (eg. US, UK, Canada) love sarcasm.  It’s everywhere and most are proud to be sarcastic.  Here’s the dictionary definition of sarcasm:

the use of irony to mock or convey contempt.

Here’s the Wiki definition:

a sharp, bitter, or cutting expression or remark; a bitter gibe or taunt

Here’s the Greek etymology of sarcasm:

Greek sarkasmos “sarcasm,” from sarkazein “to tear flesh, bite the lips in rage, sneer,”

Which means most Americans, without realizing it, are bitter people who prefer to express contempt in a joking manner so as to not take ownership for feeling and expressing it.  And people wonder why middle-class America is the most medicated demographic in the world.  When people dress feelings they’re uncomfortable with — hate and anger — as “harmless, sassy wit,” they become emotionally corrupt. One can’t be nice AND sarcastic, just as one can’t be a nice rapist.  Pick one or the other, one can’t have it both ways.  Trying to have it both ways is how batshit crazy begins.

And just how mean does one need to be?  Usually, not mean enough to warrant using sarcasm to express what’s bothering you, the razor blades sarcasm brings to most fights are gratuitous and excessive.  Check out this opening line from an Emily Warren music video:

Good news Riley, looks like you’re going to be working the entire weekend

That’s a typical sarcastic remark Americans make. How is that funny?  It isn’t funny to Riley, who was looking forward to having the weekend off. Maybe it’s funny to those who really really hate Riley and wish the worst for her? Is the speaker marveling at his own so-called wit, at Riley’s expense?  Wouldn’t it be kinder if he’d said this instead:

Riley, I’m sorry.  I know you were looking forward to taking this weekend off, but we really need you to work this weekend. I’ll make it up to you.

Point is, a lot of people make sarcastic remarks when it’s inappropriate to do so.  This creates negativity that’s somehow packaged as funny to those who delight in other people’s follies and misfortunes.

If the intention is to be bitter and mean, then fine, continue with the sarcasm.  But don’t tell everyone how nice you are because that’s about as honest as American foreign policy.  Save the sarcasm for when you’re really really pissed, like ready to choke that person out pissed.  Here’s how Jesus used sarcasm to taunt a mob that wanted to stone him:

They picked up stones again to stone Him. Jesus answered them, “I showed you many good works from the Father; for which of them are you stoning Me?” – John 10:31–32

Ouch. Here’s another example of sarcasm used appropriately, someone asked Moses if he was fucking up after he led his wandering Jews out of Egypt:

Was there a lack of graves in Egypt, that you took us away to die in the wilderness?” Exodus 14:11

Another example from Hamlet Act 1, Scene 2, in which Hamlet gets pissed about his mom marrying his uncle way too soon after his father has died:

“Thrift, thrift, Horatio! The funeral bak’d meats did coldly furnish forth the marriage tables.”

In the above three examples, sarcasm is used only in dire situations and its purpose isn’t to joke around, it’s to elucidate what’s really happening. To use sarcasm to joke about everyday situations is to use it inappropriately, with disastrous consequences.

There’s nothing wrong with feeling contempt and taunting another person. Even Jesus felt contempt toward the Pharisees and had sharp words for them.  It’s the dishonesty about one’s intentions and sense of self that’s toxic.  If you’re going to be mean, be unabashedly mean and take responsibility for it instead of dressing it up as a joke.  This is how Tucker Max, New York Times bestselling author of I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell and Assholes Finish First, introduces himself:

My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole.

Which he is, read his books if you don’t believe me. But at least he’s not emotionally corrupt and batshit crazy because he’s *honest* about his meanness.  And his meanness has a point – he’s calling out posers, self-righteous dipshits, really.  His meanness is a gratifying counterpoint to the humorless, passive-aggressive narratives that losers chirp around to virtue signal their moral superiority when in fact, they are cruel, vile, and incompetent.  Tucker Max is mean and he makes the world a better place.

“Dangerous Faggot” Milo Yiannapoulos also lauds the virtues of being mean, to be a “virtuous troll” as he calls it.  For him, the game of political and moral discourse is no different from a game of football – to not be mean is to forfeit the game.  One must speak with teeth instead of being muzzled by political correctness.  That’s because:

The progressive Left is dedicated to the annihilation of America and every surviving libertarian and conservative person in it. The Left’s gratuitous vandalism of American institutions and its hostility to the principles that have made this country great cannot be fought with essays in magazines. The Left can only win by forcing us onto the uneven playing field of political correctness. I choose war.

Play the fucking game right – land your punches — or go home, okay?  That means avoiding euphemisms and describing what you see with succinct precision.

How to mean the correct way

First, take responsibility for being mean, what’s the point of hiding that you’re a mean person?  In other words and again, be honest, be authentic and sincere.  When you announce your intention to be mean instead of hiding it in a pile of fake good intentions and lame jokes, you’ll feel better about yourself, and your meanness might make the world a better place.  I mean, do you want to live intentionally or not?  Because if you’re not living intentionally, then you’ll have no idea when you’re being mean.  You’ll be mean *while* you think you’re the nicest person in the whole wide world, perhaps because your job title or degree (BS in Social Fucking Justice!) says so.  That’s the most treacherous type of meanness because it’s driven by hubris and detachment from social reality.

Paul Graham, the billionaire co-founder of the start-up accelerator, Y-Combinator, once tweeted, “The most surprising thing I’ve learned from being involved with nonprofits is that they are a magnet for sociopaths. One’s naive reaction is “Why would nonprofits attract them? Nonprofits do good!” But the defining quality of nonprofits is to make no profit, not to do good.”  Those with good manners virtue signal, those with good fucking manners get shit done.

Euphemisms
They’re a waste of time, dangerous lies really.  But Anglos love them because they think it makes them high sounding, as if their shit don’t stink.  Example: in Chinese, the restroom is “stinky room.”  In Anglo nations, the “stinky place” is the “restroom,” reality scrubbed clean.  Think about that.

Other examples: secretary has morphed to “administrative assistant” to “project coordinator.”  “Janitors” became “custodians” and now “custodial engineers.” You think the title change confers upon them more respect or does the pretentiousness of it all make them more look pathetic, even though I doubt many of them requested the title changes.  Then there’s self-aggrandizement, where people start some bullshit business, no employees of office, and call themselves a “CEO.”  In the American socio-cultural world, Black people went from “nigger” to “negro” to “African American” in less than 100 years with nothing to show for it, unemployment rate for Blacks has consistently been double the rate for Whites since they started to keep track of that data in 1950, regardless of who is in office.  What are fat people called now?  How about those pronouns, are they a source of freedom or dysfunction?  People wonder why so many Americans suffer from identity crisis and are thus the most medicated demographic in history.

Still don’t think euphemisms are dangerous lies?  How about “quantitative easing” for “printing a shitload of money to fund stupid shit”?  “Friendly fire” for “deadly accidents in the name of war.”  “Collateral damage” when a bomb misses and takes out a village of civilians.  A friend of mine who works for a major weapons manufacturer is required to call the bombs he designs “ordnances”?

The flip side of softening the blow of reality is to exaggerate the trials and tribulations of those you don’t like. In the West, the Tiananmen Protests became the “Tiananmen Massacre,” blending elements of truth – deadly city-wide riots and a large student protest – to create a helluva story since discredited by WikiLeaks[1] and Western journalists such as Gregory Clark.[2] Russian invasion of Ukraine as “unprovoked,” even though Pat Buchanan and University of Chicago political scientist John Mearsheimer have warned about US aggression toward Russia since the late 1990s.  The moral certitude and self-righteousness of the Anglo mainstream is breathtaking.  George Orwell on the source of this madness:

Our language becomes ugly and inaccurate because our thoughts are foolish, but the slovenliness of our language makes it easier for us to have foolish thoughts.[3]

Euphemisms make people stupid and emotionally lame.  So stop using them if you want to have good fucking manners.  Dipshits will call you mean, which you are.  George Orwell, one more time:

The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. When there is a gap between one’s real and one’s desired aims, one turns as it were instinctively to long words and exhausted idioms.

Be mean by being honest, transparent, and concise.  And save the sarcasm for when you’re justifiably

[1] Link to Wikileaks regarding Tiananmen Square is broken (interesting).  So, try https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/wikileaks/8555142/Wikileaks-no-bloodshed-inside-Tiananmen-Square-cables-claim.html

[2] https://www.japantimes.co.jp/opinion/2008/07/21/commentary/birth-of-a-massacre-myth/

[3] https://saharareporters.com/2010/11/25/george-orwell-%E2%80%93-politics-and-english-language#:~:text=The%20decline%20of%20a%20language,us%20to%20have%20foolish%20thoughts.