- Alive Juice Bar is a bullshit and repression free zone
- Sometimes the customer is wrong
- Order what you want, even if you can’t pay for it
- You can start a tab, pay it off at your convenience
- A customer who is full of shit deserves to be treated like shit
- If you can’t pay off your tab because you lost your job, we’ll take care of it.
- We’ll name a drink after you if you can’t pay off your tab because of strip-club habit
- We’ll name a drink after you if you’re an asshole
- We have the right to refuse service to assholes
- It’s OK to stare at employee’s ass. Just be discreet about it. Enjoy!
- Employees are allowed to fight with customers
- One of the employees knows kung fu. Do you really want to guess the one?
- Be kind, not nice. Let us know when something’s not to your liking and we’ll fix it for you.
- Smile, God is watching you!

They may know kung fu. So don’t fuck with them.

One of these bitches wouldn’t follow Guidelines and tried to start a line because she thought it the polite thing to do.

Well she was wrong. So she turned into a snowman with small penis.