• Alive Juice Bar is a bullshit and repression free zone
  • Sometimes the customer is wrong
  • Order what you want, even if you can’t pay for it
  • You can start a tab, pay it off at your convenience
  • A customer who is full of shit deserves to be treated like shit
  • If you can’t pay off your tab because you lost your job, we’ll take care of it.
  • We’ll name a drink after you if you can’t pay off your tab because of strip-club habit
  • We’ll name a drink after you if you’re an asshole
  • We have the right to refuse service to assholes
  • It’s OK to stare at employee’s ass.  Just be discreet about it.  Enjoy!
  • Employees are allowed to fight with customers
  • One of the employees knows kung fu.  Do you really want to guess the one?
  •  Be kind, not nice.  Let us know when something’s not to your liking and we’ll fix it for you.
  • Smile, God is watching you!

They may know kung fu.  So don’t fuck with them.


One of these bitches wouldn’t follow Guidelines and tried to start a line because she thought it the polite thing to do.



Well she was wrong. So she turned into a snowman with small penis.