I like coming here even though I’m lactose intolerant.  If I’m not in the mood to do the sexy, I’ll bring my gentle friend here after dinner, especially if I get the sense that he wants to go through the back door instead of the front door even though the front door is the easier door.  By the time we get back to my place, I’ll need to do the number 2.  So I do it. The extra milk in gelato (compared to ice cream) makes number 2 almost as runny as number 1 and loud enough for my gentle friend to hear. Usually he leaves before I finish.  I like that.

When one of my girlfriends who isn’t lactose intolerant is sad because a boy doesn’t like her or anxious because she’s a crazy bitch, I’ll bring her here.  Studies have shown that ice cream/gelato reduces anxiety and depression.  I like that.  But studies have also shown that if you eat too much of it, you’ll get fat.  i don’t like that.  Unless it happens to someone I don’t like.  I like that.

I also like that most of their customers aren’t fat.  The few I’ve seen who are, they treat well — even if they don’t want to and would prefer to sing funny mean songs about them — I like that, I like that they treat fat customers well.  I like that they’re tolerant.

Their gelatos are also good.  I like that too.