The secret life of a Juice Nazi (an investigative report) ((trigger warning — disturbing images inside))

Hi Everyone,

I spent 3 months posing as a neo-Nazi to infiltrate into the twisted, demented world of the The Juice Nazi. Here’s what I found, after he let me into his perverted secret world. Prepare to be disturbed and if you are, as you should be, I apologize. I know it’s a difficult job, but somebody has to rid the world of racist, fascist, misogynist, homophobic, transphobic, heteronormative, intersectionally inverted scum to make this world a safe space for morally pure revolutionaries like us.

He Abuses His Dog

His dog always looks sad like this.

His dog always looks sad because he abuses it. And not just physically, he doesn’t feed it certified fair labor and racist free dog food. The dog also told me that he’s actually a ferret in a dog’s body, but The Juice Nazi insists on taking him to dog parks that don’t have safe spaces for ferrets stuck in a dog’s body.

He Collects Memorabilia of Mass Murderers

I found this in one of his bathrooms. I think he worships Chairman Mao while he takes a shit. Disgusting.

And then there are posters of Chairman Mao, like the one on the left.

The painting on the above right isn’t Chairman Mao, but it’s nearly as evil: it’s of a Chinese soldier laughing after massacring thousands of woke student protestors. The Juice Nazi revels in death and destruction.

Above is another poster celebrating the life of Chairman “mass murderer” Mao. He has many more that are far more disturbing but I don’t want to overwhelm you by posting pictures of all of them.

He Graduated From One of the Most Racist, Sexist, Homophobic, and Transphobic Universities in the World.

It’s no surprise that The Juice Nazi was educated at homophobic, racist, and misogynist Milo Yiannapolous’s “favorite University in the world,” The University of Chicago. This sad excuse of an institution of higher education is one of the few unenlightened schools that doesn’t have safe spaces, offer trigger warnings, and won’t cancel visits by fascists.

Trigger warning: careful when reading parts I underlined.

This school is also known for graduating brainwashed Uncle Tom scholars like Thomas Sowell, who studied under renown anti-Semite Milton Friedman and continues to spew racist and misogynistic language at the Fascist Hoover Institute at Stanford University. I don’t know about you, but I get triggered every time I see a fascist wear a University of Chicago or a Stanford sweatshirt, we’ll work on banning those sweatshirts next. Power to the People!

Another racist book by Uncle Tom.

Racist Books by Anti-Semitic Authors (major trigger warning, really really disturbing images)

This is what I found on his bookshelf, written by renown anti-Semite Art Spiegelman.

I understand if you need to look away. I’m sorry if these images disturb you.

I didn’t want to look inside but I did anyway because I’m a Woke journalist. These books teach fascists how to murder Jews. And it dehumanizes Jews by depicting them as mice, making it seem as if murdering Jews is rodent control! What’s really disturbing is that it won the Pulitzer Prize in 1992, which shows you how fascist and in the dark AmeriKKKa was before the Woke Movement. We would never let that happen in 2021.

Fascist bookshelf by his bed

He has a book about bombs, which means he’s planning to commit acts of domestic terrorism. (I’ve already notified the FBI). A racist book about civil rights by self-described self-hating Uncle Tom Sowell. He even has a biography about Steve Bannon, which means he worships fascist Steve Bannon who got Trump elected.

He Does Yoga

The only reason why he does yoga is so he can leer at womyn’s behinds. He’s a pervert. Below is rare footage of the Juice Nazi.

Yoga while surrounded by images of a mass murderer. The green thing is his favorite sex toy.

Here he’s actually sucking his own dick because nobody else wants to suck it. Sucking one’s own dick is a common neo-Nazi practice.

His Facebook Searches and Music Mixes

He spends most of his time online searching for other Nazis to hang out with.

His playlist includes a song by Ministry that includes the following depraved lyrics (trigger warning):

Die! Die! Die! Die!
You said it!
Sedatives supplied become laxatives
My eyes shit out lies
I only kill to know I’m alive
So what? So what?
So what? So what?
Die! Die! Die! Die!

This is what Nazis listen to as they imagine committing genocide.

Formative Years

Was he always this way? Yes, I’m sad to say, he was, even as a teenager, and I don’t know if we can reform him, make him woke. Disturbing image below:

He likes getting his dick sucked while he’s taking a shit. It’s common Nazi sexual practice that I found in my research on Nazi sexuality.

His Closet

Typical closed minded heteronormative and transphobic choice of clothing. He’s so gender rigid that he doesn’t have any non-binary underwear, no “she” style panties and skirts. This is an obvious sign of misogyny and transphobia and that he’ll commit murderous acts against anyone who doesn’t fit neatly into his binary world of identities.

Final Thoughts

It’s been exhausting researching this, even more exhausting and deeply troubling to write it. But I hope we now have a better understanding of how the Juice Nazi thinks so we can put a stop to his genocidal plans. Peace out, writing for Antifa Broadcast Channel.

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