Application Questions Explained Part II

Below are the questions we get most questions about.

Communication Skills Section

Pick best sentence:
a) Would you mind bringing me some beets when you get a chance?
b)  Get beets now.
c) Hey fucktard, get your ass over there, get some beets and bring it over here.

Be concise.  Most people are trained to say “A,” as that’s considered polite.  It’s actually stupid because more words means more communication errors and wasted time.  Always choose to be effective than polite.

Salesperson calls, asks “Hi, how are you doing today?” How do you respond?
a) What do you want?
b) I’m fine. How are you today?
c) I feel like shit.  I want to beat the shit out of someone.

Translate what they’re saying.  “Hi, how are…today” = “Hi.”  Don’t get involved in pointless small talk, don’t waste time.

Pick best sentence for love-text:
a) Your scintillatingly luminous presence inspires and captivates my yearning heart to take an unsolicited leap of impossible faith into the great unknown of the comfort of your arms.
b) My darling, my heart aches for your presence and to finally be in your arms
c) Let’s cuddle.

Be concise, avoid pretentiousness.

Your partner tells you you’re lazy.  How do you respond?
a) Takes on to know one, asshole.
b) Why am I lazy?
c) You never see all the things I do for you.

Always acknowledge what another person is feeling and thinking, even if you disagree.  Unless you want a stupid fight that wastes time.

Sense of Reality Questions

Those who’ve been in highly competitive environments tend to get these questions correct.

What happens when school district gives middle-class high school students their own laptops?
a) Playing field is leveled, they perform almost as well as those rich privileged kids at elite private school like Lakeside.
b) They use it to watch movies and play games, no change in academic performance.
c) They perform worse, laptops make people stupid.  (Though a customer made strong case for C).

All teenagers get this question right because they see first hand what’s going on at school.  Half their parents get this question right.  Those who get it wrong are delusional.  A couple of parents made strong argument for  “C,” citing Silicon Valley CEOs  who limit time their teenagers use computers because computers hinder development of certain skills.  But I still don’t think computers make people stupid.  People make themselves stupid and they’ll find a way to do that without computers.

Choosing A is dangerous.  It’s a stupid excuse that keeps people down.

Your 8 year old is new at school.  He gets shoved out of lunch line and is told to get to the back.  He responds by beating the shit out of the kid who bullied him.  What’s your response?
a) Ground him and make him apologize to kid he beat up.
b) Tell him he did the right thing and to never worry about lawsuits, you’ll take care of those if they come up.
c) Have your kid apologize to the kid he beat up and have them talk it out.  End with hug.

Something like this happened to former employee and his parents told him he did right thing and to never worry about lawsuits.  And this is what Eddie Huang (ABC sitcom Fresh Off the Boat is based on his life) did when he arrived at new school.  His father approved:

A hardened, street-smart man, Louis had been sent by his own father to the United States to get him away from the hoodlums he had been running with in Taipei. “We wouldn’t get in trouble with our dad if we got into a fight,” Emery said. “We would get in trouble if we didn’t win.”

Huang said the experience of earning people’s respect made him who he is today.  It made him feel that he controls his destiny.

Your daughter loves gymnastics and is about to enter her first meet.  She’s confident about winning and even thought about the perfect place to hang her blue ribbon.  While she did well, she didn’t medal, and was devastated.  What do you, as a parent, tell her?
a) Tell her you thought she was the best
b) Tell her she has the ability and will surely win next time.
c) Tell her she doesn’t deserve to win because she didn’t work hard enough.

Lifted this question from a parenting site.  Choice “A” is a lie (unless you’re qualified to judge) and enough of these “nice and polite” lies will fuck someone up.  Choice B can get you into more trouble, what happens if she doesn’t win next time?  And it doesn’t address the reason why she didn’t win, that she didn’t work hard enough.  Choice C teaches kid that she’s responsible for her place in society.

Someone leaves knives in soapy water.  What do you do to make sure that person never does it again?
a) Tell her that doing that can hurt someone, that she needs to think about the consequences of her actions.
b) Lock her in the freezer for an hour.
c) Fill sink with soapy water and knives. Have her wash knives.

You can’t tell someone to be empathetic, you have to force them to experience what another person experiences.   That’s how you teach empathy.

Character Questions

Do you believe in self-love?
a) No, only those who are chronically unhappy and deeply troubled believe and need that shit.
b) Yes, in this time of hate, we all need to love ourselves more so we can love others more.
c) No, self-love is a moral flaw, like vanity and selfishness.

It’s like the adage about people who keep saying they’re happy — they’re not happy because happy people don’t need to remind themselves that they are.

If someone feels the need for self-love, that person is fucking up but refuses to take responsibility for the fuck ups.  Mind and body responds with self-loathing.  Most dangerous self-lovers are those who portray themselves as so self-sacrificing that they forget to take care of themselves.

How many of your close friends routinely preach “self-love” philosophy?
a) 0
b) 1-5
c) 6 or more

People and emotional states are contagious.  (That’s why we’re so selective about customers, too many of the wrong customers and employees get infected).  Won’t hire anyone who picks C.


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