So after the first TikTok ban, a bunch of Americans migrated to the Chinese social media platform, Red Note. There they discovered an entirely new world, a totally different a culture from what they’d expected and much higher quality content. Americans learned that social media itself isn’t inherently toxic; it’s toxic people who bring their pettiness, whining, and need for validation that turn platforms into addictive doomscapes.

Why is there less batshit crazy on Chinese social media? To begin with, the content is wholesome, mostly about yummy food, cool fashion and tech, and goofy pets; and some about rural life, decor and renovations, singing and dancing. Not too much about politics, zero porn, little whining about stupid shit, and no trauma dumps.  Chinese mostly think about food and money, they don’t overthink or have feelings about feelings because they avoid reading garbage psychology books. American TikTok refugees learned that there is a world where the personal isn’t political and there’s no language police.

Not everyone liked it. No language police means it’s normal to call a fat person fat or someone’s meal as “pig feed”–Chinese call it as they see it, they trust math and their eyes instead of flimsy theories and excuses–and many Americans were offended by the frankness. The flip side is that there’s a lot more accountability on the site, which is what many need to live healthier lives.  Americans were shocked and charmed by the level of accountability placed on them by their new Chinese friends.

 

Yes, Chinese people are kind, NOT NICE.

This is the type of accountability you don’t see in most American friendships. Americans think of friendship as cheerleading–rah rah, you’re so beautiful (despite being fat), you’re so awesome (despite failing at every endeavor). Americans lean into compliments because they’re addicted to validation instead of positive results. That’s why American friendships are so flimsy, you don’t get much out of it other than meaningless short-term pleasure.

So most Americans obsessed with stupid shit like pop psychology and political correctness left.  They found the Chinese offensive.

The Chinese see it less as shaming and more as accountability.  That’s how some Americans saw it and they stuck around to slim down and improve their physical and mental health.

You are who you spend the most time with

Red Note shows that it works. You will slim down if everyone around you–including those on social media you’ve never met in person–is slimmer than you. You’ll eat less junk food if nobody else is. The point is, you can leverage social media to help you achieve your health goals.  That’s unlikely to happen on TikTok, where I see mothers cheered on in the comments section for serving pizza and juice boxes to her kids for dinner. When the same videos are cross-posted on Red Note, everyone comments about how irresponsible and lazy that mother is. Might that–social pressure–be why Chinese live and eat better?

Other Differences   

Chinese rarely take painkillers.  (There’s some evidence that Asians have higher pain tolerance).

Being overly emotional is frowned on in Chinese society. It’s seen as a sign of immaturity, which was the case in the US until the popularization of therapy culture.

Chinese aren’t overwhelmed by emotions because they think mathematically, even the Chinese checkout lady at Ranch 99 (Sino-centric grocery chain in the US) can solve arithmetic problem in her head. Mathematical thinking acts as a safeguard against becoming overly emotional or falling prey to propaganda. Here’s an example:

 

And while Americans like to think that the Chinese are brainwashed robots, Chinese likewise think the same of Americans.

Here’s the standard Chinese view of American politics.

 

In any case, if you’re tired of doomscrolling and seek more candor, accountability, and wholesome sharing in your life, find Chinese friends on Red Note. Skip the fad diets and tests of willpower, just find a new center. And that center is hard to find in the US.

Here’s a link to our cookbook to help you eat better AND save money and time.  How to Cook Like a Peasant

To learn more about what the Chinese think of “polite” American manners and how that messes with your head and society in general, check out: Good Fucking Manners