Think Hell is hot? Think again, it’s as frigid as Mother Theresa. John Milton wrote the literary classic Paradise Lost to give us Satan’s perspective of his predicament and The Fall of humankind. Dante Aligheri wrote The Inferno, part one of his Divine Comedies, to give us a look at life in Hell. When you combine the two and set Hell on the North Pole, you get Paradise Frost: Satan as Santa. Read it to learn how much of a sinner you are. Read it to be surprised by who is stuck in Hell. Read it to find out how the deviant Mrs. Clause uses her elves as dildos. Read it to discover how Santa satisfies his carnal urges with human whores. Read it to decide if this is a work of blasphemy.
For those rebellious, here thir prison ordainedIn utter darkness, and thir portion setAs far remov’d from God and light of Heav’nAs from the Center thrice to th’ utmost Pole.O how unlike the place from whence they fell!
—-Paradise Lost, Book I
Which God won’t give
Cause he a stingy ass cunt
And deserve to suffer
I say ‘fuck that shit’
That’s why I deliver
Whatever people want
From the latest toys to the finest fashion
It’s God whom I’ll taunt
Stop reminding people of their sins
What’s done is done
Are like salt and pepper
A little here and there
Makes life so much better
We all need a break here and there
Without greed, can there be passion?
Life without passion, that’s not fair!
If wrongs don’t inspire fury
Then who stops someone from
Acting like there’s no judge and jury?
Indulging in emotion is so fulfilling
For to covet is to build ambition
If ambition gives life meaning
It must suck to be a Christian
We all need self-love and self-care
To boost our self-esteem
Without which, life is bare
From my first after my Fall
When to Eden I went
I showed her my snake
It made her wonder
If it would make her pussy ache
There we did the deed
She enjoyed it and lusted for more
To which I agreed
Planting in Eve more seeds
One of which became Cain
Killing Abel was his great deed
Than the sight and smell of human pussy
What I did to Eve
I’ll now do to many
Enough Cains to overthrow
The tyranny of God and JC
I can’t wait to fuck some ho ho hoes!