Store Hours and Hiring

When are you going to open for lunch during the week? Why are your hours so limited?
Spring 2022?  Labor shortage.

I know someone who needs a job, want me to hook you up?
Only if they’re International Students or immigrants. Maybe if children of immigrants.

Owner know that it’s not legal to hire International Students?
Owner is Chinese, so he’s very corrupt.

That employee looks kinda young. How old is she?
10

Hey, that isn’t just illegal, it’s child exploitation!
Yes. But he’s Chinese, so using child labor feels very natural to him. Don’t worry, he doesn’t feel bad.

What will your hours be once you’re staffed up?
9am-8pm Mon-Sun.

What about The Soup Nazi Kitchen?
11am-8pm.

Menu

Any new items?
Yes, vegan sausage meals and black bean bunless burger meals. Also want to do more with chickpeas and tofu.

 

 

What happened to your yam and kale chips?
They should be back this week. Beet chips too. Apple chips we’re replacing with dried mango.

Will prices go up?
Not yet and don’t know. Actually, we increased delivery order prices. Otherwise, waiting to see where labor and ingredient costs settle at.

Owner

Is it true that in kindergarten, the owner convinced his entire class that Santa Clause is a child molester?
Who told you that?

Is it true that owner was sent to therapy in 4th grade, where he made the therapist cry?
Yes.

What did he say to her to make her cry?
He doesn’t remember, he only remembers asking her a lot of questions about herself and her childhood.

Did he feel bad about it?
Yes, starting sometime in 6th grade.

Books

When is “How to go to school like an Asian” coming out?
Owner is uploading it to Kindle as I type this. Paperback version available by Christmas, hopefully.

Anything else coming out?
Three children’s books (rated G), “If I were a dancer” (est. Dec. 15, 2021),”If I were an alien,” (est. Jan 15) and “The dingo ate my baby sister” (est. Feb 1st).

Owner will also collaborate with Roxanne G., who just got out of prison for manslaughter she shouldn’t have been convicted for, on a men’s health book titled: “How to suck your own dick.” The premise is that a man’s ability to suck his own dick is the ultimate sign of his good health. Need to be flexible, have low body fat, and…

Can you not continue with details? I don’t want to know.
Sure!